I realized that I have spent at least two hours of the last two weeks discussing a lion.

That’s right… a lion…  This is no Christian the lion who was released back to the wild.  This is not Born Free Elsa…  This was Cecil the lion… a lion who was being researched who accidentally got shot in Africa.

I got the memo.  I am a caring, sensitive, individual.  I was told I should be outraged!   It was very important that I was upset by this horrible ,human poacher.  I was to worry about the lion’s babies… and THEN his brother (not brother?) Jericho (almost)  went missing, too!!

I was upset about this while eating chicken and burgers and wearing leather sandals, of course.  I was upset about this as if this were the ONLY animal hunted or killed anywhere in the world. Then I read an editorial this morning which reminded me I was giving in to the hype… as I have so many times before.

I was horrified by watching Blackfish and learning all of the atrocities that happened every day at Sea World.  I read all of the articles back and forth from Sea World trainers past and present.  I learned everything there is to know about the capture and torture of Orcas all around the world.  I vowed to boycott all that was Shamu.

I was angered that Chick-fil-a and Salvation Army gave their money to things I did not support.  I stood up for Phil Robertson’s rights to say what he wanted to say even when I disagreed with his message.  I thought that Hobby Lobby had a right to its policies but not to be treated as an individual.

I listened to Jenny McCarthy when she showed me statistics about babies who showed no evidence of Autism suddenly showing evidence after getting vaccinated.

I have touted the bravery of a transgender woman, I have explained the significance of a flag, I have shouted that lives matter…  and I have done everything the Internet has told me to do for a solid four years now.

And part of me is starting to wonder how much of it is manipulation.

Government?  Media?  Whatever… I don’t know.  But SOMEONE is telling us what we should care about… what we should be listening to… what our outrage should be…  but I always feel like I’m missing important stuff because I’m all worried about how Monsanto is slowly poisoning me.

Meanwhile, it turns out that my own phone can watch and listen to me whenever it wants.  My ipad camera can turn on without me telling it to, and banks can now use my Facebook friends to tell whether or not I’m credit worthy for a loan!

I’m guessing I should pay closer attention to who Facebook tells me should be my “BFF for life” because that may affect my ability to buy a house.

I think about the wall of TV’s in Fahrenheit 451 as I look at my 65 inch “smart tV” and think about how we’re already there.  Somewhere  in the fine print I told that TV it’s allowed to listen to me, and it’s plugged into my WiFi learning my viewing habits.

Those retinal scans in Minority Report that allowed direct advertising when you’re walking through the store?  Yeah, how spooky is it that you’re looking at new kitchen tables on your phone on Saturday; then, Monday morning your computer at work emails you that there is one for sale three miles away from where you are right now… Oh, and it attaches a coupon for TGIFriday’s because it knows that you eat there.

Maybe it is time to move to Montana and live in a cave.

As much as I love the convenience,  the intrusion is unnerving.

As much as I love debate, the seemingly manufactured focus of argument sometimes freaks me out!

I feel like I’m sitting there listening to Bullwinkle moose say “Hey, Rocky!   Watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat!”  and while I’m looking at magic beans and sparkly things, somebody, somewhere has decided that my teacher retirement pay is being repurposed for buying new furniture for the governor’s mansion.

I always feel that everything that has ever been said now was said by someone before who was smarter than us (reading Julius Caesar  last night for the first time since sophomore year reminded me that the people thinking Obama was going to kill democracy and declare himself king were not the FIRST tinfoil hat wearers), BUT just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

I wonder, you know?  I mean I don’t think the moon landing was a hoax, and I don’t think 9/11 was an inside job, and I don’t think that mass shootings have occurred so that we take a closer look at gun violence…

BUT I also don’t believe that every person who gets harassed by a white police officer is black, I don’t believe that shark attacks needed to be the news headline a few years back, and I don’t believe that we should be more concerned with what’s TRENDING than with what’s happening.

There was a movie that came out in 1997:  Wag the Dog is all about the media telling people where they should look… about what they should be concerned… and well… I just wonder where I can get my own tin foil hat.