I told Richard my plan for a new business last night.  I think he was actually a little upset that I was going to blog about it.  I think he thought we could make a go of it.

There’s nothing proprietary about it, so the plan is all yours.  I actually wanted to name it “Foolproof Pandering, LLC,” but Richard was a fan of the more streamlined “Foolproof.”

So here’s what you do… every time people get outraged about something you take your truck to where the outrage is and you sell your wares to the lowest common denominator.  You get a fleet of trucks and scour the Internet for the latest outrage.

Let’s take Starbucks red cups for example.  When the outrage hits social media, you take your coffee truck and you park it right there in the Starbucks parking lot.  You start passing out Sanka or Taster’s Choice or whatever in your “Good God this is GREAT” coffee cups.  But your coffee cups say “We keep the CHRIST in our CHRISTmas and in our coffee!!”  And you sell it for a dollar more than Starbucks.  Here’s the kicker… Starbucks is in on it the whole time… They act like they’re upset that you’re in their parking lot… and they pretend that they’re serving you with a notice to quit… but they get part of your profit.  You get to use their property.  The more it seems like Starbucks is fighting you, the more outraged people get…And meantime, the fools come a flockin’

Ben Carson your outrage dujour?  The truck pulls up outside Carson’s campaign headquarters and sells t-shirts: “Ben Carson tried to stab me when he was twelve and all I got was this dumb t-shirt.”  People love the chance to buy it RIGHT there.  Carson acts outraged about the t-shirt truck… yet part of the proceeds go to the “Carson for President” fund.

Brilliant, right?  It works for any issue.  Chick fil a a few years back with all the homophobe outrage…  They could have the food truck pull up with their “certified gay chicken” served in rainbow packaging.

The best part is you will never ever run out of outrage.  You can have an entire fleet of trucks canvassing the country looking for people up in arms about something.

It’s foolproof.