No.. not me… I don’t have any kids.  I mean unless you’re counting those hundred and something that traipse through  my room…  that’s a different kind of kid…

I mean I miss life before my friends and family had kids.

Yes, I understand how insanely selfish this sounds.

Let me clarify.

I don’t wish that they didn’t have kids.  I know how much they LOVE their children.  This was something that they had planned their lives around.  Their kids bring them so much immense joy, and I couldn’t be happier for my friends and family!!  Oh, and their kids are funny and bright and sweet.  They are such good human beings.  I’m glad that they are part of this world because they are going to make the world a better place by being born.

I’m glad to have nephews and all of the myriad cousins of my nephews.  I’m thrilled that my parents and my in laws have grandchildren.  They love them to the ends of the earth.

But I’m definitely nostalgic for the days before my own life’s personal “baby boom” occurred.

Once upon a time I had a large family with no little kids.  Family gatherings were adult parties.  Often living room floors would be cleared out to make room for dance floors and cocktail concoctions were the center of the festivities.  Now, the bouncy house has taken over… and even though the cocktails are still there, every conversation is interrupted by screaming children running through the room.  Full attention is never anywhere… because you have to have one eye and one ear on the child who may or may not be getting ready to run across a glass table top.

The idea of getting online and booking a weekend get away to Vegas or Port A or Mexico is a thing of the past.  Who will stay behind to watch the kids?  Is there a kid friendly place to take them with us?  I want them to experience part of this, too.

The girl trips with  my friends are a memory.  I know they want to go, too… But they love their little tiny ones… and they can’t bear to be away from them.  I totally understand… they’re so lovely and sweet… and hanging out in the pool with friends can happen ANY time; you only get to cuddle with that tiny little bundle for a VERY short amount of time in the greater scheme of things.

And, in truth, I feel a little left out.  I hear about their play dates, and how they got together and their kids get together and play together, and I don’t get to be a part because I don’t have any kids.

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s not even that I’m sure I WANT to be there… I don’t have that selective deafness that parents develop that allows them to tune out the shrieking.  It’s just that I miss my friends.  I miss my family.  I miss life before kids.

I know that on some level they miss PART of all of that, too… and they look forward to having some of those days again.  But the days they’re having RIGHT NOW… they’ll never be able to recapture THOSE moments… and they are precious and wonderful and far more important than driving through the wine country in limousine without a care in the world.

So for now I am happy to hear your stories of good report cards and diaper blowouts and dance recitals and birthday parties and sleeping through the night and new words and dinosaur parks…

…just know that when the next chapter starts, I’ll still be here ready to create some new memories.