The topic of a “Safe Space” came up again with my students the other day.  I was interested to find out that some of my colleagues had not heard of this phenomenon.  The general consensus was “that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

I don’t know if it’s the MOST ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.  I’ve heard LOTS of ridiculous things… but I do tend to agree. But just because I agree, am I right?

In my classroom, we spend the first fifteen minutes or so of every AP (college level) class watching and talking about the news.  We watch “your world in 90 seconds” or students or I  bring in articles that we’d like to discuss with the whole class.

This week I brought in an article wherein University of Houston professors were advised that they may want to change their curriculum as a response to concealed carry.  They were warned that they may have some volatile students who responded inappropriately to controversial topics or to one another..

My gut instinct is that this is an unintended result of a good idea that has gone bad.

I feel like “safe spaces,” anti-bullying regulations, anxiety medications, and general coddling may be making it so that students are so protected that they are not equipped to deal with their emotions.

It is AWFUL to watch a kid feel uncomfortable.  Horrible.  They don’t have fully developed frontal lobes.  They don’t have full control over their emotions.  They don’t have the ability to completely rationalize.  Things hit them sooooooooooo hard!!!  That’s both the wonderful and the horrible thing about being a kid.  They see some of the atrocities for the first time and they react. They don’t know how truly horrible the world is yet.  As Harper Lee pointed out in To Kill a Mockingbird, “only the children weep.”

Good, kind-hearted adults:  parents, teachers, counselors, professors…  Wow we hate to see these kids hurting.  A devoutly religious girl has to hear virulent Atheists slam her faith, a girl who was raped has to hear that she asked for it, a boy who is struggling with his own sexuality has to hear about how he is an abomination.  A black girl has to hear racial slurs over and over and over again as we’re reading classic literature.

They are not equipped to deal.  It cuts them more deeply than it would cut an adult.  So we want to give them someplace to decompress.  We want to try to make them never deal with things that will hurt them in the first place.

But here’s the problem.

If we shield them and protect them, do we ever teach them to cope and deal?  Or do we respond by believing if they’re too upset in a college class that they may pull a gun?

I posed this same question to my students.  One girl responded, “Personally, I need a safe space.  I deal a lot with depression and anxiety.  I sometimes need the chance to go someplace and deal with my emotions.  I’m not hiding or ignoring.  I just need a minute sometimes.”

I responded,  “But what if it happens at work?  Then what?  Are you going to get up and walk out of a meeting because something a coworker or your boss said upset you?”

She thought for a minute and then responded, “Yes, I think I would.”

My immediate reaction was to think “You can’t do that.  You need to bottle up those emotions and just deal with it.  Or, if it’s appropriate, you need to address the situation.”

But then I thought “Am I right?  Is that true?”

I’m not a counselor.  I’m an expert at bottling my thoughts and emotions when I feel it’s appropriate to do so.  I’m an expert at arguing my point…but I am NOT an expert at actually allowing myself to FEEL an emotion and deal with it…. to give myself time to recollect in tranquility.

I also  think that everyone NEEDS to have their beliefs challenged.  They NEED to know why they believe what they do… and hearing opposing viewpoints is VERY uncomfortable –especially when they are presented in a combative way.  Still they need to be heard.  But my student said she DOES hear and listens… but she needs to process without being badgered and insulted.

That kind of made sense to me.

There are times on social media that I want to retreat to my safe place.  I am very careful and considerate to never belittle or wound when I state an opinion on the Internet.  Still, OFTEN people who disagree with me go into attack mode.  They are hostile and aggressive about their opinions.  Even as an arguably full-functioning adult it is very difficult not to respond in kind.

Is it possible that “safe spaces” are really a good idea?

Is it possible that students are not using them because they’ve been babied too much but instead to truly consider the ideas of others?

(Nah, I still think they need to learn how to feel uncomfortable… and I think most of them are using them as space to run away… but at least now I see the point.)