I’ve thought about writing this one for a long time.

I don’t shy from controversy, but when I see the word “abortion” on my screen, I think “Oh no.  Not that.  I can’t write about that.  I can’t talk about that.  That’s way too personal.”

But now we have a Presidential campaign where that word has become at the forefront again. Candidates are assuring the public that, if elected,  they will overturn a Supreme Court decision more than 40 years old.

I am smart enough to know that you can’t change anyone’s mind about anything, but if you are really, truly pro life… and you really, truly care about the welfare and life of poor, precious unborn children, I want to give you something to think about.  Try not to react.  Try to think. (That goes for you Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.)

I have made it very clear to everyone that I know that I have NO desire to have children.  I understand the level of commitment it takes to be a parent.  I understand that you have to redefine the center of your universe.  I understand that having them would bring me more love and more joy than I could ever possibly imagine.  I understand that my natural instincts would take over and I would love that tiny human more than I thought my heart had enough room to love.

If I were to accidentally get pregnant despite the three forms of birth control I use (even typing that makes my stomach do a slow little flip and I’m shaking at the thought), I would immediately go to the doctor.  Wine would become a thing of the past for the next few years.  I would not eat processed foods until I was done breast feeding.  I would do absolutely everything helpful and right for that little baby– because, to me, life starts at conception.

Once my baby was born, I would make sure to teach my child manners and values and the importance of education.  I would take her to church and tell her about the role that religion plays in our society.  I would send him to tutors for PSAT practice.  I would help them figure out their most fitting band instruments.

If they were born without all ten fingers and all ten toes… or their number of chromosomes weren’t right, I would learn how to deal with that.  I would go to the support groups, and I would research the therapies, and I would do everything to make that child’s life the best life it could be.

I would do all of this even though I never wanted a child.

I would never, ever have an abortion.

I would do all of this because I am pro life for me.

I am only talking about me.

But I CANNOT and WOULD NOT expect that from any other human being… because it’s not reasonable…and it’s not logical.  And no matter how much you love the lord… no matter how much you want to tell me of the horrors of abortion…YOU CANNOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE.  YOU CAN’T… and because of that, if you’re a logical, thinking human being, you HAVE TO stop asking to overturn Roe v. Wade.

I know a lot of well meaning friends who say, “There are plenty of loving families out there just WAITING to adopt children.”

I’m not going to deny that at all.  What I will say is that not all of them are willing to adopt children with developmental issues, not all are willing to adopt children of other races… but even if they are… you’re missing the logic… you’re missing the point.

You cannot force poor parents to give their child up for adoption.  Yes, yes… after years of documented neglect and abuse you may be able to get permanent orders against parents, but I don’t think that’s what the pro life activists want. At least I hope they are not wanting to subject unborn children to years of unmitigated neglect and abuse.

You CANNOT force someone to take care of themselves when they are pregnant.  Let’s say a heavy drinking, smoking woman gets pregnant and wants an abortion. She is told she can’t.  How are you going to force her to take care of her unborn child?  Are you going to follow her home and be sure she doesn’t put that precious baby in danger?

What happens when this woman who never wanted her baby has the child born with fetal alcohol syndrome?  My genuine, wonderful, pro-life friends, have you SEEN the effects of this?  Not just when the baby is born… Forever… for the rest of the child’s life.

And for the baby who is born fine, healthy, and still unwanted… uncared for…

Do you truly trust the government, the world, to raise all of these neglected children?  To even FIND all of these victims of neglect?  I challenge you to go through the news for a week without finding case after case after case of wrong being done to a child.  You think ALL of them are being caught and brought to justice?  Do you think that most people who didn’t want children and then were forced to would all of the sudden become spectacular parents? You think it’s better to be born into a life of hell than to never be born at all?

The statistics on abortions vary widely based on the agenda of the group publishing the statistics.  On average, however, 65 percent of women who choose abortion are economically disadvantaged.  I am not saying that growing up poor is a guarantee to a bad childhood.  I am saying that a desperate, cash-strapped mother may not be the best person to break the cycle.

I don’t want to digress into the liberal rhetoric here that claims that conservatives are against abortion and against welfare…  and you can’t have your cake and eat it, too… but the liberals do have a point…

I understand the argument about multiple abortions. Again, according to the sources you use, about 35% of all abortions are a 2nd or 3rd (the numbers decline dramatically after that to 8%).  Some advocate mandatory temporary or permanent sterilization after multiple abortions.

I do believe in education.  I do believe in making more permanent ways of birth control more readily available for those who want to avail themselves of these methods.

I do not, however, believe you can force people to make decisions about their bodies.  You cannot pretend to know every circumstance that led people to the decisions they are making… even if they have been led to that decision for a third time.

Because when you do, you go back to the barbaric tactics before abortion was a medical procedure… when women performed abortions at home… and you endure the consequences of that.

What can we agree on?  I think we can ALL agree that we wish no one ever HAD to get an abortion. There is NO such thing as “pro abortion.”  I cringe every time I hear someone mistakenly use that phrase.

I think we can agree that it’s sad… and we don’t like it… and we wish it didn’t have to exist.

But I do believe if you let your logic win out over your emotions… if you think of what the alternatives are if it ever really became illegal,  you would realize that there are some things in life that you have to accept even though you don’t like them, and I suggest you keep being pro life for you.