I don’t think the problem is with media trying to manipulate you.  I think the problem comes when you don’t recognize that is happening all the time, every single day of your life, in every aspect.

I was having a conversation with my husband a couple of months ago.  I wanted him to go to a movie with me, but I knew he wouldn’t want to go.

I stopped mid conversation and was trying to think of the best way to get him to go.

He looked at me suspiciously and said, “What were you saying?”

I said, “I’m trying to think of how to ask this so that I can get the response I want.”

He got angry and said, “Well, now I’m DEFINITELY going to say ‘no.'”

I said, “Why?”

He said, “Because you’re trying to trick me.”

I said, “Trick you?  Absolutely not.  I’m not trying to trick anyone.  I’m just trying to cushion my argument in a way that would ultimately have you choosing my side.  I’m thinking of the right words.  I’m thinking of the things that would appeal to you so that you’ll agree with me. ”

He still didn’t like it… but he DID like the movie…

I think that’s the problem a lot of people run into.  They feel “duped” and like they’re being played… but that’s not really it.  It’s more that people realize who their audience is and they’re giving them what they want.

What kind of books do you like to read?  What kind of movies do you like?

Authors and filmmakers KNOW what you want, so they write and film so that what YOU want will be there.  They’re not “manipulating” you; they’re playing to what you want so that you’ll go see their movie.  I’ll NEVER be a fantasy/sci-fi fan.  I’m bored five minutes into Willow and The Dark Castle.  I don’t care what their quest is.  I don’t want to talk about all of the languages in Lord of the Rings.  I still don’t know the difference between an elf and a hobbit.  But Lord of the Rings doesn’t care… because they weren’t trying to sell to me.  The Conjuring was… and I’m all about seeing that…

The same thought occurred to me about Donald Trump’s speech at the RNC.  I thought it was rambling, ranting, yelling, angry… without vision… full of hyperbole.  I forced myself to keep listening… but that speech wasn’t for me.  That speech was for the hyped up crowd at the RNC.  Twenty three minutes of applause or something like that?  He was giving them EXACTLY what they wanted to hear.

I teach my students, if you want someone to listen to your words, you have to consider what would motivate the people to whom you’re talking.  You establish your ethos (expertise) as a speaker.  Then you use logos (logic) and pathos (emotion) to help the reader/watcher/listener see your position.  If you lack the ability to see the reasoning of other people, you’ll never be able to convince anyone of anything new.  You’ll only be able to solidify the thoughts of people who already agree with you.

Confirmation bias is something that is very difficult to fight against.  It’s why people on the far right prefer Fox and people on the far left prefer MSNBC.  Those journalists know exactly what to say to confirm what you already believe.  Make no mistake, they are for profit businesses… and they don’t want you to turn from them because they say something you don’t want to hear.  It’s their goal to make you watch.

So my point is, don’t get angry when you realize someone is manipulating you…  listen for the facts beyond the manipulation.  Don’t just become the puppet.  Remember what matters to you and what you want…

…and maybe the person who is trying to “manipulate” you can introduce you to a point of view you never considered…. and there’s nothing wrong with that.