Carrie Fisher died today.  Star Wars:  A New Hope was the first movie I ever saw in a movie theater. I was four, almost five.  I don’t know that I could really follow it, but I sure thought Princess Leia was pretty.

I never really got into Star Wars.  I’m not a big sci-fi /fantasy fan.  I liked Carrie Fisher, though.  I appreciated how blunt she was when addressing her mental illness and alcoholism.  I liked some of the other characters she played.  I bet her mom and her family are really really sad.  I’m sorry she died.

George Michael died on Christmas.  I used to tape Wham’s videos on my VCR;  then, I’d watch them frame by frame because I thought George Michael was so beautiful.  There were moments that I was just blown away by how good looking he was.  I think I even took a picture of the TV at one time.  When I broke my leg in 7th grade, I remember “Careless Whisper” played over and over again on the radio during the five weeks I had to stay in a hospital bed in my living room..  As I got older, I started to appreciate him for his talent and his philanthropy as well.  I’m sorry he died.

Prince died on April 21.  I was a HUGE Prince fan.  I owned almost every song he ever did.  I had 1999 and Purple Rain on vinyl.  I watched his movies.  I recorded his videos.  His songs are the backdrop for large parts of my life… I have had many groups of friends since my love for Prince began, and every one of those groups of friends had a connection with him.  I have read biographies about him.  I have watched dozens of interviews.  I’m sorry he died.

Sadder than their deaths, however, to me, is the mean-spirited shaming in which people so gleefully seem to engage on social media.  … the almost instantaneous jokes and mocking of the dead.  I know, I know… “too PC”   “If you don’t like it stay off of social media”  “everyone is entitled to their opinion”  I understand all of that…  I just struggle with the judgment and the cruelty of other human beings.

All of those people I listed above were human.

As John Donne so eloquently said:

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. ”

So, yes, I am sad because I lost those people because they are part of humanity…

And because I have memories of each of them… some more than others… but memories nonetheless…

Next come the people who say “I can’t stand this celebrity worship…  you don’t mourn the death of soldiers like this…”

Completely untrue…  I do.  Tell me the name and the story of the soldier and I mourn him as well.  See, I know that Debbie Reynolds is Carrie Fisher’s mom…  I know that Joely Fisher is her sister.  I know that Postcards from the Edge was loosely based on her life.  I don’t know those things about a soldier.

Regardless, who cares what or whom I mourn?  I say “My friend died.  I’m sad”  You say “I’m so sorry, prayers with you.”

I say, “Prince died.  I’m sad.”  You say  “You are a shallow, ridiculous pop icon worshipper.”

How callous.  How absolutely shallow YOU are to not even allow someone the dignity of feeling an emotion.  How lacking in empathy you are to take someone’s empathy and make it a fault.

Do I mourn the death of Prince the way I mourn the loss of Shawn (one of my VERY best friends))??…. no, I don’t… but it’s not NOTHING.  I feel SOMETHING.  I feel the loss of art, the loss of memories, the loss of another human being. And you know what?  Shawn LOVED Prince and he LOVED George Michael and he LOVED Star Wars… so the loss of each of them makes me miss Shawn even more… and makes me feel closer to HIM through their deaths.

So this blog won’t change anything.  You will continue to shame each time someone dies, and you think someone else shouldn’t feel emotion about it.

But shame on YOU for being so self absorbed that you can’t sympathize with a fellow human being simply because you aren’t feeling the emotion yourself.