This was my husband and my 6th annual trip to EPM. I chose it for the first time way back in 2017 when most every travel site had it listed as the best adults only all inclusive in the proximity of the Cancun airport. Now, it’s still ON those lists, but it rarely sits at the top anymore. It’s still the top one I’VE been to, but some of the more recent changes make me more willing to branch out. I actually became addicted to the We Love Excellence Playa Mujeres Facebook page even before the trip. Like the resort, that page has gone through some changes as well. As a whole, I still love the vibe there, too.

If you’ve never been before, much of this blog may not mean anything to you. I have MANY others over the last several years that detail day-to-days… and much of those things are the same. This one would take you the first one of trip #3, back when I used to blog every single day one at a time. But now, there are so many thing on “repeat,” I do it all in one just for my memories…

This will talk about the trip, but it will also focus on change. The FIRST change was the arrival in Cancun. The last couple times we have gone, all COVID regulations have still been in play. This time, not only were masks no longer a thing, the FMM form was gone as well. The only thing US citizens need to get into Mexico now is a passport, no other paperwork. We generally fly Southwest and LOVE terminal 4. I feel like it’s quicker and easier than the more crowded terminal 3. We were through immigration in under a minute. That’s no exaggeration.

It took our luggage less than 20 minutes. I know for some that’s an eternity, but so that I don’t have to worry about how to pack my ridiculous extras (damp rid, power strip, bug repellant, sunscreen, and a different swim suit for every day and different dress for every night) into just one carryon, I’m willing to wait the 20 minutes. I also continue to book with Kalido even though my Seasons transfer would be free through the resort. (When you book ROOM only through the Excellence resort page, you get free, included, private transportation in an SUV. The only thing is that their communication can be spotty. I don’t do spotty communication, so I am glad to book with the family-owned Kalido). We walked with eyes straight forward through the gauntlet of time shares and out the door directly to Kalido. Our driver was there ready and waiting with our pre-ordered drinks.

The driver told us of all of the changes to the road on the way to the resort. Traffic was bad and it took us just over an hour, but the driver was wonderful, and we had a bottle of sparkling wine, so no problems there.

Pulling up at the resort is always magical. Immediately your bags are taken, and you are handed a glass of sparkling wine. We arrived a little later than usual, but that turned out to be for our benefit because our room was READY. I had requested any room in building 8A… and specifically requested room 8154. I actually got 8155 which was wonderful. I LOVE building 8. It is the closest to the beach. 8A looks out over the main pool area and restaurants to the beach, 8B looks out over the club pool. I think the view from 8A is stunning. We always get an Excellence club pool view room. I know we wouldn’t use a plunge pool. A swim up MIGHT be nice, but we like to move around to different areas of the resort. I don’t feel there is a need to pay extra for a room just one level higher when we get an ocean view from our pool view room most of the time. And club is DEFINITELY worth it to me. We don’t spend any time of the day in the non-club areas. I love the three private pools, the upgraded service of having people make up your beds and bring around the extras, and I love the Magna restaurant. Black Friday sometimes has the best deals on the club-level rooms. I’ve never paid more than $60 more per night for the club level of the same type of room. All of the interior of all the rooms is identical unless you have the honeymoon suite or imperial suite and there only two of each of those on the entire property.

Check-in went smoothly. Normally, we’ve been able to decline putting down a credit card for a hold. They did not allow us to decline this time, and the hold is relatively steep ($600). I can see how a hold that large could be a problem for some people. (Unsolicited word of warning: If you only have a debit, consider trying to get a credit card for the trip. Not a good idea to put a hold on a debit card. You have no protection if something goes wrong or they dont lift the hold in a timely fashion, but I digress).

Before we had arrived, I had requested a certain type of pillow from the pillow menu which you can find on the Excellence Collection app (Visco fresh pillows) and I had requested Bailey’s in the room through the email also in the app. I also knew that the spa was closed and under construction until at least December, and I wanted my free hydrotherapy. (It’s one of the big reasons that I book club level). I emailed the Excellence spa a few times asking what my options were since the spa was closed. They let me know that I could get hydrotherapy at either Finest (family resort) or Beloved (boutique couples resort) by emailing those resorts. It took several communications with Beloved and some back and forth with Excellence before they said that we could have the hydrotherapy complimentary. My parents were there at the same time as we were, and I believe they were able to have the building concierge set it up. Regardless, we all got our hydrotherapy sorted and were happy with our room placements.

I mentioned at check in that I am a platinum level member based on number of stays. They said that their membership system was currently down and they didn’t have access to it, but if I emailed a screenshot of my membership, they could honor it. I thought that was a little strange, but I was glad I did because during the stay, we had two random cheese trays delivered, two pretty nice bottles of red wine, and a bottle of Taittinger champagne! I’ll take it!

So, now that we were there, we immediately fell into “the routine.” This is where all the days begin to blend together. I have found that five days must be my “sweet spot.” It was the perfect amount of time to really relax and enjoy.

Mornings:

I always pack a bag the night before and then head on off to the beach just before sunrise (about 6:40). This year, I only got “my” bali bed (third one over from the concierge hut when you’re leaving the building 8 pool) two times. The other two the bed was taken by the time I got down there. ALL of the bali beds were claimed by 7:15. Be warned. For the most part, people were actually IN the beds, too. The concierges did a GREAT job letting people know that they would clear the beds off in 45 minutes if the people did not return and someone else wanted them. I saw them clear beds multiple times. Rubi was awesome! I love to do my wordle, listen to the waves, read a book, and wait for my husband to join.

This trip my parents were there, too… so I’d chat with Mom before she went off to do whatever activity she found for that day. She and my husband are activity people, normally. She did the bike ride, the painting, Zumba, paddle board, and some other things. This trip, he only did rifle shooting. Me? I just read. A LOT… and loved it!

The bali- beds are all claimed early but MOST of the time there are loungers available throughout the day on the club beach. This time, though, there were LOTS of large groups who would come in and take large areas. They can do that, of course. They didn’t leave, and they didn’t play music, but they were LOUD. Several people yelling back and forth to one another in their area, ordering rounds of shots and whooping and cheering. As a whole, the crowd seemed younger than they had in the past. I would say that the median age has dropped about ten years. When I first started going, the average age seemed mid 40s, now it seems mid 30s.

There were LOTS of people in the water. It was mostly clear, a little bit wavy, not turquoise like Isla Mujeres, more a seafoam green, but warm and nice.

I’m not normally a big breakfast eater, but I have to do the chilaquilles at Lobster House at least once for the view and for the chips, and breakfast at Magna on our last morning is a MUST. it’s always incredible. (This time I was a big fan of the almond croissant, the goat cheese omelet, and the quail egg with caviar).

Afternoons:

My husband would come and join me with a coffee and a croissant from Aroma in late morning. We’d have a few bloody Mary’s on the beach (Floricel is an AMAZING beach server) before making our way to lunch, On the first day we used to do The Grill. That has changed names now and is Oregano, but currently, its lunch menu is the same as the old Grill. This time, we generally went to Las Olas on the beach. They brought back some of the themes from the past, but without live music at this point. Still, I like being on the beach. I do miss the old days with toes in the sand. Still the service is very good and good light snacks for lunch, so you don’t feel TOO bad if you order room service or a pizza later! (Do NOT order room service pizza… lol.. it’s kind of hilariously bad…)

After lunch time for us is generally pool time. Building 8 pool had A LOT of people there this time, including some big groups, so we spent part of the long weekend and the very quiet building 9 pool. Julio was the concierge at all 3 of the club pools and did an amazing job making sure that beds were made up, that we constantly felt taken care of, and that we got exactly the kind of day we wanted. Building 9 pool was COLD but refreshing, especially with that late day heat blasting on the deck side. The hot tub at the building 8 pool was FIERY hot! Julio did act like the monkey drink and the goodbye art were automatic things to get on the last day of EC. I had not felt like that was the case before.

Nighttime:

Even on the nights I suggest we forgo dinner because I’m just not hungry, my husband is NOT having it. And generally we have a plan. We always do dinner and then try to make the show. Sometimes we go to the sports bar or Havana after for a drink. Usually, though, it’s just dinner and a show. So, I’m giving a quick rundown of each night.

Thursday: Flavor Market where the food was good but the service was EXCRUCIATINGLY slow. We only had a few plates, but it took forever to get anything. I think they were very understaffed. We went from there to the fire show that was inside the theater. It was AMAZING. To watch them literally jumprope fire is pretty impressive.

Friday: This was the last night for the restaurant formerly known as Toscana. It became “The Kitchen Table” on Saturday when the new Grill opened in the old Barcelona space. At the moment, “The Kitchen Table” isn’t open at night at all. It has the breakfast buffet and the former Toscana lunch menu at the moment. The entertainment of the evening was also a new addition: Lucha Libre!!! My husband couldn’t have been more excited! He grew up in South Texas watching Lucha Libre and it definitely was all he was hoping it would be! Just before that, the Elite rock band played in the courtyard. They are always a highlight for me! I think they’re EXCELLENT!

Saturday: We started at the Lobster House with just steamed lobster tails. I truly think that they’re excellent. I like Maine lobster, but I might actually even prefer the small, sweet Caribbean ones? After that, we went Basmati hunting and finally found it right beside Agave. Both are squished into one small spot at the moment. I don’t think that’s going to be permanent, but I’m not sure. The wait at Basmati was going to be an hour, so we elected not to wait and went to Spice instead. There were several very large groups at Basmati… tables of eight to ten. I was glad to go to Spice. I miss the old sushi bar, but the little Hibachi rooms look interesting. The sushi was good, the Mongolian beef was terrific, and the desserts at Spice are the best in the resort, I think. I love the tempura ice cream. Saturday night was burlesque which had changed a little bit from past years and is still very impressive.

Sunday: Dinner at Magna always feels as close to fine dining to me as you can get at EPM. Yes, they had the crazy Tomahawk steak, but that’s not really my thing. I LOVE their salads, their foie gras, and their ravioli. As usual, the whole meal was terrific. As I mentioned before, the crowd has changed and Sunday night entertainment reflected that. It’s a “glow” party. You can paint yourself up with florescent paint and dance to music largely from the 2000s (whereas, in the past, most of the music was 80s/early 90s). LOTS of people doing shots and seeming to have a really good time. Not my thing…

Monday: I was thrilled to hear that the Mexican fiesta was back. However, the weather was forecasted to be stormy, so it was moved inside to The Kitchen Table. It did not storm, but I understand the precautions. The food for the fiesta was just as fabulous as it had been in the past and so was all of the entertainment that came with it. The quesadilla station, the leg of lamb, and the roast suckling pig were definitely highlights. I love the Mayan show even if they scare me! And it was a GREAT grand finale to the trip.

Will I be back? Oh, probably. I had an amazing time, but I AM ready for a change. I love the things that stayed the same… I don’t necessarily love the new. So, maybe it’s time for something entirely new for me? I do hope EVERYONE has as fabulous of a time as I have had over the past six visits and that more people keep on loving Excellence Playa Mujeres.

We were still moving when we woke up that morning, set to dock at 8:00 AM. I opened the drapes in the room and was greeted with (ho, hum) yet another castle… I kid! It truly never got old. Each and every one took my breath away! So, we had the choice that day of staying in Tarascon to wander or going on the excursion. Again, I thought I would wander later. This was ALSO a pattern where I should have known better. It seemed most days once we returned to the ship, we stayed.

Today began with one of the longer bus rides (about 40 minutes), into the town of Arles. In my mind, I kept pronouncing it “Are lay,” but it’s actually “ARRRRRL” (with just the tiniest hint of “uh” on the end…). If you were thinking another Medieval town with another gorgeous square, narrow streets, steep inclines, and a gorgeous church, you would have guessed correctly. This one was somewhat different though because it has a more Spanish influence, even to the point of still having “real” bullfights (yes, they kill the bulls; no, we did not go) and bulls in the streets (also which we did not see).

This is also the area of France where VanGogh stayed. He had invited MANY friends to come visit, but only Gauguin showed. (Poor VanGogh). Still, it’s said that the lights and the colors of this city inspired some of VanGogh’s most famous paintings, including Starry Night.

Much to my epicurean husband’s delight, we were there on Saturday, so it was farmer’s market day! The quality, quantity and price of the goods were phenomenal! Whether you wanted a mattress, or a dozen gorgeous oysters, they were all there to take your pick! Row upon row of artisans and goods, all with street performers as background music. When we return, I’d love to come to this market to shop to stock our Airbnb.

Our last excursion complete, we returned to the ship to pack and have our last dinner. We gave tips in envelopes to the people who had been truly helpful and impressive during our stay. Yes, the tips ARE included, but you are allowed to give extra. Special “shout out” to Miro, who was our amazing waiter for just about every meal. There was another Masterpiece extra excursion that afternoon to an olive farm and a light display. This was the ONLY extra excursion we didn’t book. Our friends said it was likely the best. It sounded wonderful to me, but it also sounded similar to the traveling VanGogh immersive experience that we had been to in the US – just in a more gorgeous venue. I didn’t feel like we missed out TOO much, but I’m happy for the friends who enjoyed it. We had the last dinner that night and the last drinks, talked about doing this all over again, and were so glad to have spent a week together.

Our bags had to be outside of our room at 3 AM and our transfer to Marseilles picked us up promptly to take us to the airport at 3:30 AM for our 5:50 flight. (Yawn!) We got to the airport just before the checkin lines were open. Marseilles is very small airport, and we were able to spend just a few moments in the Lufthansa business class lounge before boarding flight number one of three for the day Marseilles>Frankfurt>Houston>Austin. Funny enough, the other couple in the transfer van was taking all the same flights and live in a the same town where I teach! Small world! I had heard all the horror stories of summer European travel this year with missed flights and lost luggage, so we bought Airtags for our bags, just in case. And, in Frankfurt, I scheduled a gate to gate guide for $30 a piece. To us, this was SO worth it. Yes, it was just a walking guide. She met us at our gate with a sign with our name on it. (If we had been bussed to the terminal, she would have met us there). Was this necessary? Maybe not… BUT she walked us QUICKLY to the front of all three security lines, no waiting. She made sure we didn’t go the wrong direction in one spot where we thought we were supposed to go, and took all the worry out of our TIGHT connection time (55 minutes between disembarking and boarding). I would probably do it again.

It was time for the LONG leg… 10 hours and 23 minutes. We spoiled ourselves this trip and flew business class. The bad news is that I don’t ever see myself being able to do a 10 hour flight in economy class. I looked back at those five-to-a-row people and thought… “I just can’t.” For us, we could lay down flat, get up and walk around easily. Even the bathroom was bigger and more comfortable. I decided that economy is for the young and fit, not the middle aged and lumpy…

Because this flight took off late, our connection time in Houston was close. I was glad we got off the plane first, and I was also glad for Global Entry. I’m also glad my Chase Sapphire Reserve credit card pays for my Global Entry! I love that credit card. We put everything on it, pay it off every week so never pay interest. Even though the yearly fee is over $500, it still pays for itself. I don’t mean to sound like a commercial, but it has been so good for us, I wanted to share it with others. Anyway, Houston is familiar to us, but most of the Global Entry kiosks were closed as were most of the immigration stalls. Even the Global Entry line was backing up until they called another agent over to hustle us through. We thought we were going to have to pay customs on our seven bottles of wine, and we were prepared with receipts (we’re rule followers), but the agent told us not to worry and sent us on our way.

The airport is under construction, so we had to hoof it through two different trams and into a temporary terminal. We began boarding three minutes after we arrived at the terminal.

A quick up and down back to Austin, and we were home. All of our luggage arrived moments later. Twenty hours of travel complete.

And now it’s been three days since we got back, and that’s the end of the journey! We loved our first time in Europe and are considering a Tuscan/Piedmont land adventure for next year. The river cruise was excellent, and we would definitely do one again! Like any trip, it wasn’t perfect. Like any trip, if you look for the good you’re likely to find it. On this trip, it wasn’t hard to see the good!

To everyone who has yet to go, “bon voyage!” and to those who have gone and returned, I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did! For those who only traveled vicariously through us, I hope you enjoyed your journey and I hope for the opportunity to share more!

This will be my penultimate blog. When we went to bed the night before in Avignon, we made the distinct decision NOT to set the alarm after having an afternoon and late night that involved more libations than we planned. Still, I woke up at 7:30. I felt somewhat logy, but not too terrible. Richard was still sleeping. I contemplated getting up, getting breakfast, getting ready to walk into Avignon, but all I did was contemplate. Nature gave me a WONDERFUL excuse; I looked outside and it was raining. Okay, maybe not REALLY raining, but it was DEFINITELY sprinkling. People were walking around with umbrellas. I looked up entry price to the Palace of the Popes on my phone… Hmmm… it would be $12 each if we went later and not with the tour group in the morning. I decided that was fine and drifted back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, it was after 10. Breakfast was now a memory that didn’t happen. Again, I considered going down to the coffee bar for a cup of coffee and a croissant. Still, I went absolutely nowhere. A morning wasted? Perhaps. But I was fully recovered by the time we were going on our final Masterpiece excursion, a trip to Chateauneuf du Pape. Richard was mostly recovered. So, after lunch, the weather cleared completely, we boarded the bus, and the only place we saw the Palace of the Popes was from the outside and from the bus window. We gazed at the 2.5 miles of walls around the city and thought, “Maybe later…”

The included afternoon tour was kayaking. The group had been told many times, in no uncertain language, that this would be a challenging excursion and not for novices. It would include portaging at some points and rough currents. No part of that appealed to me, but I was glad that others would have the opportunity if they liked. A few planned to go, but I didn’t talk to anyone who actually did.

We had good intentions of walking through the city when we returned, from our excursion. BUT we all know what road good intentions paves… and the day was hot. Our one foray into Avignon the previous evening was all that would happen this time in France. We can always return! Onward to the rocky, pebbly, soil of Chateauneuf and a tasting at a winery.

This choice to me was one of the few “fails” on Uniworld’s part – not a big fail, but not great. I didn’t love this particular choice of winery. There was no great view, the tasting was rudimentary, and the wines were mediocre to me. (Disclaimer: Wine tasting is so subjective; some may have LOVED these wines. They have great scores.) Had it been one of the included excursions, I don’t think I would have felt the same. However, when people were paying for a CDP extra, they likely already had some knowledge of the region, and I would have liked a more immersive winery tasting experience.

No matter, the excursion didn’t include just the tasting, and we were off to the the town and the chateau itself. CDP is the oldest AOC in France and has over 300 winegrowers even though there are only a little over 2000 people. I would have liked to have spent more time in the town, but we had a chance to duck into a tasting room on a street in the town to try some tasty wine from Domaine la Boutiniere. CDP wine is made from up to 13 different grape varietals including some white, but in the area Grenache is the king, and most blends are made from primarily Grenache, Syrah, and Mourvèdre (GSM). I learned from our time in Paso Robles, California that this was my favorite blend of grapes. We’ve been to Paso four times now, with a fifth coming up. It is our favorite American wine region, and they do primarily Rhone varietals there, but I digress…

From there, it was just a quick bus ride up to the ruins of the chateau itself to see the ruins of the 14th century Medieval castle for some quick pictures before getting back to the boat in Avignon.

I knew that Avignon was to be our final docking point, but I was thrilled to hear we hadn’t reached the point in our journey where we’d stay stationary in Avignon just yet! We would leave Avignon to sail to Tarascon that night for one last adventure in another town the next day! We borrowed a wine suitcase from our friend in Austin that held seven bottles. Alas, we bought too many bottles, so we had to open one to share with dinner to make room. Poor us! It was the night of the “Farewell dinner.” I was so cream and cheesed out by this point in the trip that I selected the cauliflower for dinner. NOT my best choice. The balsamic was good, but the cauliflower was VERY bland and boring. Ah, well. It was still a great day, and we were thrilled to know we had one more ahead! We were still docked in Avignon, not leaving until late, and COULD have made that trek back into the city. Instead, we sat up on the deck, had a nightcap, and chatted with new friends from all over the world.

Today, there were no busses for the morning trip as we were just headed out to explore the village where we docked: Viviers. This tiny town of 3000 also boasts the smallest cathedral in France, Cathédrale Saint-Vincent de Viviers. Well, that is if you believe the French. Our Viviers native guide told us never to believe the French because they lie. (ha).

Imagine my surprise when I took a second glance at our guide and realized that he was our ballroom dancer from the night before! He walked us through beautiful tree-lined, cobblestone streets and pointed high upon a hill to let us know that the cathedral at the top would be our destination.

The town was so quiet on our steep ascent. We rarely saw an inhabitant. At one point, we walked through a passageway with a van that took up the entire street, having to squeeze by sideways on the edges.

The only other tour option for that morning was a strenuous hike. The night before Ingrid had made it clear that only the experienced hikers, truly wanting a challenge, should embark on the hike which she said would be steeper and longer than that on Hermitage the day before, Some of the people who had been disappointed with the hike that turned out to be a stroll on Hermitage were much happier that day. I think it’s wonderful that Uniworld listened to the concerns of some and adjusted. Our other friends took the bikes offered by Uniworld and spent the morning exploring by bicycle path. Richard and I loved the “Quiet vox” where we wore an earpiece and our guide talked into a microphone, so we didn’t have to be right with him all the time to hear what he was saying.

The 11th century cathedral was beautiful, but largely barren. Our guide told us that the French government would come in and decide that certain things needed “restoration” and would take them, but they would not return. He pointed out a spot where a tapestry had hung in the 1970s – taken for restoration, but ended up in the Louvre…

He shared with us a chandelier from the time of Charlemagne, a crucifix that depicted the fall of Adam and Eve, and a pipe organ that had a few sour notes. When the government of France would come to see what needed to be restored, the organist would play a song that didn’t include that sour note, so at this point, they were able to keep the organ.

The second part of the tour involved meeting with locals. It seemed each tour group had the opportunity to meet with a different person who lived in Viviers – going into their personal kitchens and their private businesses. Our group met with a husband and wife who had wanted to buy a house that was part of a convent. They were allowed to buy it, but only if they bought the entire convent. They were in the process of renovating it to make it a bed and breakfast with a spectacular view of the town and the Alps in the distance.

As we made our way slowly back down the hill, our guide told us of the stories of the town. He stopped at one house and told us the story of the family who had lived there during World War II during occupation with a Nazi captain living on the first floor, oblivious to the Jewish doctor hidden on the top floor of the house.

It was an early lunch on the boat the day because the boat was about to start sailing again that afternoon. We had another choice. We could stay on the boat or we could board a bus for a 30 minute trip to a working truffle farm and the village of Grignon as part of the connoisseur collection. Richard and I NEVER say “no” to truffles! So, we boarded to bus and stopped at the home and farm of Gilles Ayme. As we stood beneath the rows of oak trees, we learned that Gilles was a 4th generation farmer who sold his truffles to the likes of Thomas Keller in the US. He claimed that you could train just about any type of dog to truffle hunt, but he preferred Labrador Retrievers because he likes them as pets. He said the the females have better noses and they listen better, so his were always girls. He was not, however, able to train his cat.

The truffle hunting demonstration was fun! Clearly some truffles had been buried in shallow soil under the trees nearest us. Still, it was amazing how quickly the dogs sniffed them out and began digging at the ground. They are trained by being fed truffles as puppies and learning to love them. As they are older, their owners trade them the truffle for a more tasty snack. That’s one of the reasons dogs are now used instead of pigs. The dogs are more likely to give up their truffle. That is also why dogs are trained instead of me!

When we walked into Gille’s house, that familiar smell hit me immediately! We first tried fresh summer truffles. I had never had them before. They are much more subtle and floral. They are not nearly as popular or nearly as expensive. Two ounces of summer truffles would cost around $80; black winter truffles, around $280; white (which I’ve still never had a chance to try), $800.

Understandably, he did not share any of his fresh winter truffles with us, but we did get a taste of oil infused with truffles. This is actually different than some of the truffle oils you may buy at the store. Often, those kind of truffles are actually synthetic, made by perfume makers. This oil was rich and wonderful on a baguette with just a bit of sea salt.

From there, it was off to Grignon, another tiny town, with another Michelin starred restaurant, more narrow sloped streets, and another spectacular church at the top. (I was beginning to sense a theme!)

We caught up with the ship on a tiny dock in Chateauneuf du Pape before sailing off to the walled city of Avignon for the evening.

Escargot, dinner, and drinks followed… and then some more drinks followed, and some more. By the time we were docked in Avignon at 10 o’clock, I suggested to Richard that we go into town to see what was going on. Richard, to my surprise, agreed!!! (Leaving at 10 o’clock at night is not a thing Richard would normally do in ANY country.) We walked on the pedestrian walkway under the highway in front of us into Avignon and found it in the middle of a festival! The buildings were illuminated, art and performers were everywhere! We took a seat at a café, did a little MORE drinking and watched the world go by.

Walking back to the boat, I was particularly fascinated by the HUGE rats that ran across the walkway just in front of our feet and into the bushes beside the river. I’ve seen rats before, but these were IMPRESSIVE. Richard and I drank a lot of water, downed some liquid IV, took some Aleve (did I mention there had been some drinking?) and had EVERY intention of getting up the next morning to tour the Palace of the Popes in the walled city of Avignon. We had been told that it wasn’t going to be a strenuous hike, but it would be a long tour with a lot of stairs. We were LOVING how it felt to walk all over the countryside, and we were ready for more – or so we thought!

Back when we chose this trip in 2019, we had just recently taken a wine class on Hermitage. The idea of drinking wine from this famous hill, on top of the hill. called out to us. Actually, at first, we LOVED the idea of hiking up to the top of Hermitage and toasting at the top. We had such great intentions of getting into hiking shape and France was our carrot… We started off in February of 2020, diligently looking forward to summer 2021! We were going to be hiking FOOLS by then. Instead, we fell victim to the 2020 malaise. No, no, we didn’t get sick -we got even MORE lazy. We let pandemic become our excuse and were NOT prepared for the hike up Hermitage. Still, we were considering it. We’re very overweight, but otherwise physically healthy – no ailments. After the fact, we heard from our friends that very few who started the hike actually completed it. A group of six made their way all the way to the top. Many others just strolled along the hill. It may have been wise to separate the hiking groups by ability level. After our first few days in France, walking around five or six miles a day, we decided it was just too hot to trudge up that hill, so we were so glad to have selected the Masterpiece Collection where we were taken in a van to the top.

When we opened the drapes that morning, we looked out to swans. I can definitely see why the impressionists spent so much time in the French countryside, and the amount of swans on that river just take my breath away. We saw them EVERYWHERE.

On this day, we ate a quick breakfast, then went outside to wait for the van. The start to the trip put me a little off kilter. There were three couples standing outside by the arch and many people milling around waiting for the hike up Hermitage or the walking tour of Tournon. Tournon and Hermitage are two towns separated by the Rhone River, each has a spectacular view of the other. We were to do our tasting at Hermitage, then we’d be driven to Tournon.

We joined the small group, believing it to be ours. We were told that they also were going to the private tasting on top of Hermitage. I introduced myself and Richard to the group of six. One of the other couples told me their names, then said, “But I’m not going to even pretend to try to remember anyone, whatever.” It’s likely she was just being funny, but it left me feeling a little uncomfortable and embarrassed.

Then, to continue with my “too much personal information” portion of this blog, our van pulled up. Our guide was FANTASTIC. He was an English teacher from Tournon. I mused to myself how, although he was born and raised in France, he spoke English with a British accent. Then, I thought, “Um… what do you expect, Tamara? He learned to speak English here. Did you expect him to sound like he’s from Kentucky?” Anyway, the van was a nine person van, and there were eight of us, plus the guide. I mention my size again because it’s a source of embarrassment for me. I have struggled with my weight and eating disorders my entire life. I have done every program and every plan (short of surgery). I have had massive successes and massive failures for the last 41 years of my life. The times my weight bothers me most, though, are when I have to make OTHERS uncomfortable due to my downfall, and that was the case climbing into this van. My husband is quite tall (6’3) and big man as well. The guide suggested that he sit in the front. Then, the group suggested I sit up front with my husband. Ohhhhh….my…. I squeezed myself in there like I was Pillsbury dough going back in the can, but I was ashamed and uncomfortable squeezing this poor, kind guide. This is no one’s fault but my own, but it was starting to set my mood for the next hour. Also, I sort of felt the need for a restroom, but I thought we’d find one when we went for our tasting. (I’m not sure why I thought that).

We began the drive to the top of the hill, passing the Cave de Tain on the way. This was the organization that employed our guide. We drove to the top of Hermitage where our guide drove the van off to a dirt flat and stopped. Then, began to get a table and folding chairs out of the back of the van. OH! We were tasting RIGHT HERE in the middle of the vines! What an amazing (and restroomless) place to be!

The views were more beautiful than any I had seen yet on the trip. I so wish pictures could get the depth that truly showed the breathtaking majesty of it all. There were were looking at Hermitage, St. Joseph, Crozes Hermitage… it was all RIGHT THERE!

It was so windy on the top it was difficult to get the table and the wine glasses to stay in place, but our guide soldiered on. I’m upset that I didn’t take more pictures of the tasting itself, but I was distracted by the wind and the minor turmoil in my head! It’s always best to drink wine in a good mood; it makes the wine taste better. I’m actually not kidding. That’s something new I learned on the trip. It has something to do with the way the pH levels in your body react with the wine. It could be a bunch of hooey, but it seemed interesting because I’m sad to say, I don’t really remember the tastes of these wines. My husband, however, who is quite the oenophile, said that they were exceptional. I’ll believe him! What’s NOT to like about Marsanne and Roussanne? The first white we had was a blend, the second 100% Marsanne. Then, we had the two reds: one was a St. Joseph, the other a Hermitage. Both wines 100% Syrah – one of my favorite grapes. Hermitage has always been one of my favorite regions.

The plus side about having a taste of wine when your mood is a little off, is that it usually brightens things. This was the case on top of Hermitage, too. I relaxed some and started to feel better and enjoyed our “Pillsbury can” drive back to the other side of the river. The guide and I talked about teaching secondary English. Sadly, he has found the same struggles in France that I am having in the US. The guide bid us “adieu” and dropped us off for a wine brotherhood ceremony at Château des Seigneurs de Tournon (which DID have a restroom!) This was another excursion that was part of the connoisseur collection. The ceremony was a little silly but fun. The highlight was standing atop the hill, looking back at Hermitage from where we had just come, drinking the wines of the region. It was equally amazing to see the views from the other side.

Hermitage was one of our early departure days, and we were to set sail for Viviers around noon, so we decided to duck out of the excursion early and walk back over the suspension bridge to Hermitage to hopefully check out some of the tasting rooms before we needed to walk back to the boat. We were successful visiting both Jaboulet and Chapoutier. Again, these were producers I have admired and enjoyed for the last fifteen years. To be in their tasting rooms was a literal dream come true! After paying thousands of dollars in wine tasting fees over the last decades, it was amazing to us that almost all of the tastings we encountered in France were free, and the price of the bottles was so reasonable!

We went back to the ship for lunch; then had SEVERAL hours before we were to arrive in Viviers. All times are approximate because of the lock system. You never know whether you will have to wait for other boats. I found the locks fascinating! When on the lower levels of the boat, you were completely surrounded in thick, concrete walls, They are so close on both sides, you can literally reach out and touch them. There are a mere three inches on each side. The boat becomes very dark. When on the sundeck, however, you see the whole “show.” It is amazing to watch as the boat is lowered and the gates are opened for the next portion of the river, and you can literally see the river at your sides above you.

I actually enjoyed the half day of river sailing time. It led to a forced relaxation and gave time to do laundry. Often on trips I feel I have fill every single second with DOING something. But, on the boat, we couldn’t do much but ride and relax. We went to the cocktail informational hour. That night was to be the 20’s theme party after dinner. To be completely honest, this is something I was somewhat dreading. I do not like costume type parties at all. I don’t want to be a wet blanket for others, but I do not enjoy them. I knew that Uniworld was doing them on all cruises this year. I also knew that it wasn’t particularly well advertised. I needn’t have worried. I would say about 20-30 people dressed up, and they seemed to greatly enjoy it! I was happy for them. There was not, however, really any kind of “party” to go with it.

We shared one of our bottles of wine at the cocktail hour before going to dinner with our friends where MOST were willing to branch out and try frog legs. I’ve had them before. These were good, but I’ve never had them without a finger bowl, so they were messy. Overall, I would call this the best meal of the trip. The pork tenderloin was amazing!

It was an absolutely beautiful night for going up to the sundeck for a nightcap with friends as we pulled into Viviers.

Waiting for us on the dock was our entertainment for the night. We watched as we docked, the gangplank was quickly lowered from the sundeck with a pully system, and the dancers ran on board. The whole thing took less than five minutes. Richard was tired, so he went to bed. I went back down to the Van Gogh lounge to find our friends and watch some dancing. The original plan was to watch a demonstration, then learn a few dances ourselves. However, we had docked late, so the former professional ballroom dancer and his wife went through five or six dances, and five or six costumes before having time to do only one group dance. I’m not sure where the 20s part of the evening came in, except one of the dances was from the 20s. I thought it was fun, nevertheless.

But it was a late night, and an early morning was ahead as we were to spend the next morning exploring the village of Viviers and the afternoon at a truffle farm and the village of Grignon before catching the boat in Chateauneuf du pape in order to set sail, then dock in Avignon for the night.

Waking up the next day was a familiar sight… back to Lyon. This time, however, we didn’t spend the morning walking alone. We started it with a guide. We had the option of a walking tour learning about silk weavers, a bike tour (the “let’s go” options are for those who want something of a workout on their excursion), or a part bus/part walking tour. Knowing we would be in Lyon until about 11 that night. we elected to go with the final choice. We figured we’d have time to explore on our own later. We partly chose this particular date for this cruise because it’s the “Connoisseur Collection” and included a few options not available on other tours. We do love our food!

One of the great things about river cruises is the freedom to make choices and the lack of super-short excursion times. We rarely felt rushed, and if we wanted to check out a bike later in the day- so be it!

This tour was with Jerome. He was a truly funny man who was VERY “Lyon proud.” According to him, Lyon is the second largest city in France (although he did say Marseille may disagree – but according to Jerome, Marseille is full of liars…) The tour we chose centered on gastronomy.

We started by going to a food court/hotel in Lyon. This is one of the nicest hotels in France: The InterContinental. Yes, it’s part of a chain, but were I to spend an extra night at the end of my trip – or should I return- I think I’d do a night here if only to see the Le Dome bar, or perhaps have dinner at Epona: one of 83 restaurants in Lyon with a mention in the Michelin guide. Yes, that’s 83… There was quite a bit of controversy, for obvious reasons, when this five-star hotel opened at a former hospital for the poor. The building had been abandoned for some time until it was purchased and renovated. We discovered. to our dismay, that while we were vacationing in France, many of the best food artisans in France were vacationing elsewhere. Several booths were closed. Still, we were able to have a bread and wine tasting where the bread was made by the best bread craftsman in France according to the Meilleur Ouvrier de France.

From there, we went to the origins of the city. We learned quickly that much of this part of France still has Roman ties, even maintaining many operational Roman theaters in several cities.

On the bus, we went to the highest vantage point in Lyon – Basilique Notre-Dame de Fourvière. The hill, Fourvière, encapsulates the pride of Lyon with its funiculars, its railways, and even its very own Eiffel Tower, which – according to Jerome- is higher than the ACTUAL Eiffel Tower because of the altitude on which it is set. (Remember, Jerome is Lyon proud!)

Other than the absolutely breathtaking views, the hill is also known for it’s church: Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière. When we were there, mass was occurring, so we couldn’t take pictures inside, but it was phenomenal. The mix of the Medieval and the mostly modern made for a striking comparison between the old and new worlds.

From there, it was back to the other side of the river to check out old town Lyon. I was CONSTANTLY confused here whether I was looking at the Saone or the Rhone… I heard the name of both rivers so many times I lost track…

Old town Lyon was fascinating. It’s only three streets that run parallel to one another. So old, it was during a time when cross streets didn’t truly need to be considered. So, instead, there were “traboules” built to move from one street to another. These were doorways that revealed corridors and hidden passageways.

Each passageway led to a courtyard between the streets. The private courtyards are more difficult to enter than the public (Pro tip: Sometimes, if you hit the “mailman” button, they will open for you). The public are available to everyone. There are more than 400 of these secret passages from street to street, and during Nazi occupation, the resistance would meet in these courtyards because the Nazis could never find all of them.

Today, these narrow and gorgeous streets are filled with stars: Michelin stars. On just one pedestrian street three different restaurants with a star each stand within yards of one another. We got to taste a fabulous pastry here: La Praluline, a brioche covered in pink praline.

When in Lyon, don’t forget to look at the sides of buildings: there are elaborate murals everywhere.

From there, we went back to the boat and had a VERY pleasant surprise under our cabin door. We had REALLY wanted to do the private tasting atop Hermitage the next day, but were told that excursion was no longer occurring. I had my travel agent ask about it, and she put it on her calendar to do so every week. Uniworld had told her that the reservation could only be made on the ship. When we got to the ship, however, it was not mentioned on the itinerary. Still, we asked the front desk the day before, and they said it was canceled. We were quite disappointed since that was the excursion we MOST wanted to to, but figured we’d just go with the flow the next day. When we checked with the tour manager, Ingrid, regarding the note under our door, she said that there had been a mistake with the main offices of Uniworld. She shook her head as if this were something that happens more often than not. She said that couples who didn’t plan to go had booked, but now there was an open spot. We didn’t really care HOW it happened; we were just glad that it did. Maybe it was our TA, maybe it was our prodding, but we now had our exclusive- somehow now secret- trip for the next day! (Moral of the story: if you REALLY want something, be proactive.)

Elated, we went back to our room to decide on what to do with the rest of our day. It was only about 2, and we weren’t departing Lyon until 11 PM. A history museum was mentioned, but that was closed on Tuesday. We started to think about making dinner reservations. We are CERTAINLY foodies, but we hadn’t done enough research and were a little overwhelmed. Had this been the trip that began in Avignon, and Lyon was our last night, I GUARANTEE we would have had dinner at an acclaimed place in Lyon. This is one of the few regrets I have of the trip. Still, it gives me a reason to return in the future – with some plans of a place to try in mind. Dinner on the ship is LOVELY, and we greatly enjoyed every meal with our Idaho friends Susan and Gene, and our Irish friends Mary and Tom. Still, when in the gastronomy capital of the world…

No matter, we made the most of our time by visiting a Lyon food hall: Les Halles de Lyon – Paul Bocuse. To say this was an experience doesn’t do it justice. The only food hall type place we’ve been to before is the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia. Les Halles de Lyon was MOSTLY shut down in the afternoon, so it felt like we nearly had the place to ourselves. Many of the booths were closed, but those that were open had the most glorious produce and food. It was so beautiful, it glistened.

We had taken an Uber ride the approximately 2 miles to the food hall but decided to head toward the Rhone and wander back to the boat. The day was hot, so when in France, one must stop at a café. I try hard NOT to be a wine snob. (I sometimes fail.) I was DELIGHTED to see that the rumors are true. When it’s 95 degrees in France, and one orders a rosé, it is served with ice whether I asked for it or not. So, now, I feel like I can boldly ask for ice in my rosé if I want it.

Along our stroll, we even saw a public swimming pool complete with water slides right there on the Rhone river!

Back to dinner with our Idaho and Ireland companions that night. There are no assigned seats on the boat, but it was interesting to see that certain groups tended to gravitate toward one another, and then also formed “spokes” based on those we met at other times. The largest contingency of our boat was American. Still, there were people from Mexico, Australia, South Africa, Ireland, Slovenia, and England with whom we interacted regularly. There were not many singles, but there were some large groups who seemed to travel together often – many met on cruises.

It was a gorgeous night in Lyon. The amount of people exercising there at ALL hours is almost daunting. There was no road in front of the ship, but there was a bike and running path that made it difficult to cross TO the road. There were A LOT, I mean A LOT of people working out, so we felt compelled to stroll ourselves before returning to the ship for a nightcap on the deck.

Back in the room that night, we talked about what a great day we had, how excited we were to return to Lyon for an amazing restaurant experience the next time we are France. We opened up the window on the French balcony to listen to the sounds of the Rhone while we fell asleep and made our way to Hermitage.

One of the wonderful things about river cruising is waking up in a different place every morning. On full-day one, we woke up in Macon. It’s actually on the Saone, not the Rhone, and we spent just one day in this area. This one area that we will need to come back to for a much longer journey!

Each day begins with a buffet breakfast. Most of the elements are the same, but always include made-to-order eggs, pastries, cheeses, fresh fruit, cereal, yogurt, beans, charcuterie, and so many other things. We were asked to wear a mask when at the buffets at both breakfast and lunch, and they were STRICT about it. You are no longer required to test at any time on the ship, in France, or to reenter the US, but I checked for my own piece of mind yesterday when we were home. Yes, I had heard a few people on the cruise had contracted COVID and were in quarantine. But, as of yesterday, neither Richard nor I have it. Everyone had to be vaccinated and boosted (once) in order to enter France, and we had to fill out a locator form, but the only people who asked to see it were the airlines in Canada and the cruise ship. Lunch is also a buffet. It has cold and hot options. The hot options change daily, and there is a meat carving station which also changes daily. Burgundy was the only day that lunch wasn’t offered on the boat.

The bus ride on this Burgundian day was longer than the others (about an hour and 20 minutes), and we did opt to do the masterpiece collection, partly because it included lunch. The masterpiece collections generally range between about $50 to $300 more per person based on the excursion (all other excursions are included in the price of the cruise with usually 2 or 3 choices occurring simultaneously per day. Some days had an AM and a PM excursion and you could do both.) This one was $90. Although it was excellent to see a small, modern day wine operation in a medieval castle, I don’t know that this one was necessarily worth it to me. If I had it to do again, I’d still do the Beaune part of the excursion, but perhaps spend more time wandering or see about doing my own tastings in Burgundy. Still, I don’t REGRET going, it just wasn’t the “best” of the extra excursions for me.

Beaune was such a LOVELY and fascinating little town. Likely the MOST famous part was the Hospices de Beaune. This was the hospital for the poor. The roof is iconic, for sure. They took in everyone, except those with leprosy or the plague.

Just a logistical side note here: I had been worried about what to wear, hearing that wearing shorts made you a target for pickpockets as an American, that it’s frowned upon for women to wear dresses that show their knees, or that the walking was so very strenuous. It was HOT while we were there, and I wore dresses every day because they’re cooler. Many women did, but people wore everything. Most of the men wore shorts. I wore the same kind of shoes I wear every day (generally Clarks), and I was MOSTLY fine, except for a day that I wore a pair that were too worn out. Most nights, I wore compression socks at night to help with recovery, and I was good-to-go the next day. I’m not just a curvy woman, I’m a big, fat lumpy woman, and do not exercise enough. Still, I never felt like I couldn’t keep up or that I didn’t fit in places. Yes, I want to be healthier, but for this trip, I did fine the way I was. Also, I had heard horror stories about the restrooms in France. The guides were sure to point out those that were acceptable and free on the tour at each place where we went, so my fears were unfounded. Most of the busses had a restroom as well, but they strongly discouraged us from using those.

But, as for this first day tour…

We realized if we stuck close on the tour the whole time, we’d have no real chance to explore Beaune, so we walked away from the tour guide about a quarter of the way through. That was no problem for any of the guides. They’d give you a meeting spot and a time, and if you’d rather go explore on your own, you could leave whenever. When we were wandering around, we went to the first of MANY churches on the trip. They are all so gorgeous! I admit, I didn’t keep track of which one was which, I THINK this one might be La basilique collégiale Notre-Dame de Beaune, but I may have just guessed that from my Google choices…

Still, our main reason for going to this area of France was the wine and the food, so we loved checking out some of the wine shops in the city and even buying a few bottles that we wouldn’t be able to get back at home. I’m not a big fan of chardonnay from the US, but how I love the crisp acidity when it comes from Burgundy. And there is a reason that the pinot noir there is the most expensive wine in the world. The prices on the wine we saw was so shockingly low to us! When we saw bottles there that we COULD buy here, they were about 1/3 of the price in France!

On the ship, they will open anything you buy with no corkage fee, so we had two bottles there. We also bought seven to bring home. We used a wine suitcase for those. We were pleasantly surprised when we were just waved through immigration and didn’t have to pay any kind of tax to customs. We thought we were only allowed a bottle each.

From Beaune it was back onto the bus to go through the wine road of Burgundy. I have gone to wine classes and tastings for years… to hear .”we are now entering Pommard…then, Volnay… followed by Meursault continuing to…Puligny-Montrachet, Chassagne-Montrachet” it seemed as though a hundred one classes had come to life! Oh, and these narrow TINY roads in the villages. Goodness! Sometimes there were only mere centimeters between the busses and the walls on the sides of the village. It was equal parts fascinating and unnerving!

Our masterpiece excursion was to Chateau de Rully for a private tasting in the caves of the castle.

It was a scorcher of a day out, but still wonderful to meet an actual modern day count/winemaker in his ancestral estate where he still lives. He and his family served us gratin dauphinois – some of the most wonderful potatoes I’ve ever had; beef bourguignon; and an apple tart. How wonderful to have it alongside the pinot noir that he made! My husband, Richard, is quite an accomplished cook. He said, with a laugh, that the food there just made him angry because he can’t make it as good at home. It’s a matter of getting the ingredients! The eggs, the cream, even the potatoes are all finer quality than we can get here, so the food is extraordinary!

After, lunch, the count took us for a tour of his home, including the kitchen which even stayed cool in the heat of the afternoon because of the thick walls. He sold his wine there. You could only pay cash or write a check, no credit card or Venmo for the count!

The first day was long – 9-5 on the bus – then back with enough time to change for the Captain’s Welcome dinner and the overview of the entire cruise. Speaking of the tours, the bus drivers and tour guides are independent contractors, and not part of Uniworld. Uniworld suggests tipping them a euro or two per tour. We often tipped a little more than that, but that’s obviously up to the individual. Those drivers are IMPRESSIVE.

On this night, we were sailing back to Lyon before heading further south for the rest of the trip. I didn’t bring anything overly dressy for the captain’s dinner, and it didn’t seem necessary. SOME were most dressed than others. Most of the men wore long-sleeved dress shirts, but not much dressier than that. According to the cruise guide, shorts are not allowed in the dining room during dinner but most slacks were casual. I never saw jeans. We picked the rest of our excursions. We were VERY disappointed to see that one of the Masterpiece collection excursion was no longer listed. In fact, that excursion was one of the main reasons we booked the trip. (Spoiler alert: the excursion reappeared later, and we were thrilled). So we booked one other “extra” excursion to take its place and made our plans for the week.

Again, dinner included your choice of beverages with a recommended red and white from the sommelier. That night, we chose to dine just the two of us, but there are VERY few tables for two. They are at the very back of the restaurant, and they’re close to all the other tables for two. In essence, we ended up dining with the lovely newlywed couple next to us- Sam and Gus. They were in their 20s. Richard and I, RELATIVELY young for the trip in our mid/late 40s, asked them what made them choose a river cruise. They had made a deal with each other that every time anyone asked them that that they would do a shot! They, like many other couples on the ship had started in Paris on their own, did the river cruise in the middle, and would end on the beaches in Nice. I LOVED that idea. Everyone I talked to on this trip said that we hadn’t missed anything by skipping Paris. They said that the train stations were packed, the city was oppressively hot, and the Tour de France was about to come through so things were completely nuts. Maybe they said it to be nice, but it made me feel better!

Dinner was another exercise in gluttony, starting with foie gras and ending with cheese before we went out to a deck for another night and another nightcap while sailing back to Lyon. Oh, what a LOVELY day!

For the #TLDR’s: For me, EPM wins… by more than a nose, but not more than a lap…

Background: I have been at EPM five times, with time #6 and #7 already on the books. I have also been to several other AI’s including Hyatt Zilara, Live Aqua, El Dorado Maroma, and Valentin Imperial, I like them all… but I would have to call EPM and ERC my number 1 and 2 respectively.

So… here we go with the specifics (disclaimer, all pictures are of ERC as opposed to “side by sides.” You can easily find pictures of EPM anywhere on line. The comparison below is more in words than it is in pictures. If you want to read any of my EPM recaps, this starts one of the visits from my second trip. I have blogs for several.)

So… for this trip…

The drive from the airport to ERC is about 10 to 15 minutes shorter than EPM. You are going south from the airport; whereas, with EPM you’re going north.

It was much quicker to get through the guard stands at ERC than at EPM. Sometimes it seems it’s backed up at EPM and when you’re just dying to get there, you don’t want to be sitting in the vehicle waiting.

The entry to both is similar, big doors swing open, but the tropical, colonial vibe when you enter ERC is more breathtaking than the more modern EPM. I love the way the the staircase wraps up two different sides, and that iron work is just beautiful. The lobby smell, though. That’s a WYKYK thing. It is IDENTICAL at both resorts, and it definitely lets you feel like vacation is beginning.

The checkin process, sadly, is equally cumbersome and confusing at both. Our luggage was taken, but then we were told to wait in the martini bar to have someone come take us to the club lounge. We weren’t sure if this was really going to happen or how long it was supposed to take. Eventually, however, someone did come and get us. At EPM, you’re usually asked to sit in the main lobby until someone brings you up to the lounge.

Once in the club lounge, the process was the same. We were asked the same questions, given our COVID test time, were able to schedule our complimentary hydrotherapy. The lounge at ERC is very similar to the OLD lounge at EPM. Plenty of snacks set up at various times of day, plenty of places to lounge. Definite point for ERC. The lounge at EPM is inside the Magna restaurant and there are only a few chairs near the bar; then, some in the middle of the restaurant. It’s an awkward place to visit just for a drink. The ERC lounge is nice to drop in and have a cocktail (or five).

I am aware at this point, it seems like all of my points are for ERC, and that’s because it was a very nice resort, but this is where my FIRST points go towards EPM: the room.

The room at ERC is more compact than the sprawling feeling of EPM, but more importantly, is the lack of storage at ERC. There are two nightstands (plus ERC… only one at EPM), BUT there are two drawers in each nightstand, and that’s it for drawers in the main part of the room. At EPM, there are MANY drawers in the dresser, and also a nice cubby for stashing the suitcases. At ERC, in the center of the room is a giant bathtub. That would seem great, but there is no curtain or anything to draw around it, so you have to be VERY comfortable with someone if you plan to take a bath because you’re displayed in the center of the room. The jacuzzi tub at EPM has a curtain around it to hide it from the main room; plus, it’s in the corner with windows that you can open to the outside. The bathroom itself at ERC only has two drawers as well, no laundry hamper type opening like at EPM, and no medicine shelf, so I had some trouble finding places for my things. (Excuse the messiness, but this gives an idea of what the room looks like). The TV is in the bedroom area across from the bed, and then you step down into a sunken living room which is quite cramped and has a small table. It made the room seem disjointed to me.

The bathroom, despite having a full door on the water closet, seemed even LESS private than the bathroom at EPM to me. It is WIDE open to the bedroom with nothing blocking the view from the bed. It did have a regular mirror, which was nice. I also didn’t like the shower as much. It had a rainshower and also a wand, but they they didn’t have individual temperature controls. I like to set up my own hydrotherapy in the EPM shower where I have both going at the same time… the handheld and the rainshower, at different temperatures. Here, you had to hold onto the handheld to use it, you can’t just secure it in the shower and direct it at yourself. BUT its temperature stayed consistent, unlike EPM.

We had a building 7053 ocean view club swimup, so we also had another jacuzzi tub on our patio. Again, there was KIND OF a curtain there, but definitely not something usable without a swimsuit on. Anyone could see in at anytime. The view from our room was great, and we were on the main pool (not my request). VERY lively, but it was fine. We had a front row seat to everything going on at both Las Olas and Sol Bar as our room was sandwiched right between the two. The resort outside our room was gorgeous. It was just quite busy.

EPM also has the edge with main pool. It’s larger. The ERC pool felt very crowded, and it is also the volleyball pool, so it gets segmented. You can’t swim from one end to the other when a volleyball game is going on, so you have to choose a spot and stay there–either near the swim up bar or near the Sol bar. Getting into the pool from the swim up was awkward. It’s not great at EPM either, but a little tougher here. There was no ladder on the swimup side. Instead, there was one step, but it was too far down to step down to it. You have to grab a hold of the rail to squat down as low as possible, or sit before sliding down to the big step, which was ALSO too high to just step into the pool. We did LOVE the covered, adjustable bed on the deck. You can lay flat or sit up. It was very comfortable. Our particular room was in full sun until about 1 PM; then, it was in full shade.

The restaurants and quality of food at both resorts are virtually identical. We went to Basmati the first night, The Kitchen table (which was running the Flavor Market menu) and Chez Isabelle the second night, and Agave the third night. The servers didn’t seem as likely to offer to order for you at ERC as they are at EPM. They seemed hesitant to give recommendations. (I asked at all places. They DEFINITELY wanted to please, but seemed not to want to just bring items). I thought the decor of the restaurants at ERC was nicer than EPM, and the lighting was better at all (EPM is very dark). The service at both resorts is great, but I would say that edge, again, goes to ERC. Except sometimes the service was a little TOO good. One afternoon at the ERC pool I would estimate that I was asked “Esta bueno” at least once every ten minutes. It made it a little hard to just relax. Also (and this may be because I was with a friend instead of my husband) the service at ERC is quite a bit flirtier. lol. I got called called beautiful, sexy, etc. over and over again during the trip. I’m not a huge fan of that, but that’s a personal qualm… not likely one for everyone.

My mornings are for beaches, and there was really NO comparison here. I know it depends on the time of year, and we have just entered sargassum season. This is not the resort’s fault, but the beach is unswimmable. They spend all day cleaning it up, but it keeps coming in, and it’s easy to see the brown for a long way out.

This did not, however, stop me from starting my mornings on the bali beds. The service was great and it was nice and cool until about nine. The loungers and beds are set back MUCH further from the water at ERC, so it’s hard to get a good view or to hear the sound as well from the bali beds. Also, they are covered, but just barely. They are in full sun by 10:00 AM, so it got too hot to stay there without being able to get in the water. On the positive side, it’s NEVER hard to get a spot. Lots of empty loungers and bali beds on the beach. The bali beds on the EPM beach go early. I never saw all of them taken at ERC.

In fact, I found that ERC beats the chair game overall on the club pool and the other pools at buildings 6 and 8. I think, however, this is because of the smell. It really is overwhelming at times. This is very specific, but it smells to me like people who have gingivitis (no, it’s not ACTUALLY that. It’s the giant mounds of rotting sargassum that have been hauled in from the beach and placed behind a fence near the pools). And it’s quite strong. I didn’t spend any time at the lazy river pool, but I did go for a spa treatment, and I didn’t smell anything while there.

The service at all of these pools is great, and the drinks are fantastic.

It’s also more challenging to find restrooms around ERC. There are a few. They are primarily small (2 seats each), and they are not air conditioned. They are plentiful, large, and cold around EPM. This is a minor complaint. (In case you’re wondering, there is a hidden one across from the club lounge; then, another behind the pottery cart. They are both equidistant from the club pool).

Like dinner, breakfast and lunch at both resorts was basically the same. I LOVED the option of breakfast on the beach at Las Olas at ERC, but I know that EPM is soon to have that as well. All of the food at the restaurants is good and occasionally outstanding. I’m not a fan of most of the room service food, however, other than for breakfast or for a snack of cheese sticks, hot dog, and french fries at either resort. The friend who traveled with me loves the curried chicken wings. I do think the Sol bar pizza was better at ERC than it is at EPM.

Then, last but not least, the extras and others:

The layout of the resorts is quite similar, but ERC is more compact… almost TOO compact. There are few areas of wide open space. It feels somewhat crowded in most areas. The sculptures are not quite as stunning to me at ERC. The guests seemed more casual at ERC, but I haven’t been to EPM since the dresscode change, so that’s an unfair comparison.

The entertainment at both resorts is literally identical. How involved people are in the entertainment depends on the crowd, but the same acts, the same activities go on at both resorts. I REALLY like them all. Many’s band and the African Acrobats were my favorite this time around, but everyone else was good as well. I do prefer the bands performing on the “stage” above the main pool (in the Lobster House) at EPM. At ERC, they are off to the side and difficult to see unless you’re sitting at SOl bar.

Aroma at ERC is on the same floor as the checkin, so it’s more difficult to pop in during the day, but they ALWAYS had macarons, which EPM does not, and it’s easier to get in and out. However, Aroma here has no ice cream, so…. it depends on what’s important to you. The sports bar was not nearly as stuffy as EPM, but it was also empty each time we stopped in. Still, it seemed very similar.

And, finally, the spa. The hydrotherapy was quite similar. The spa itself is more tropical and luscious at ERC. The area around the lazy river is just breathtaking. If I were to go again, I would forgo club and hope for a lazy river room. At the spa, you do the whole hydrotherapy with the sound of a waterfall in the background. I preferred the showers at this spa, but the locker room is so tiny that it’s difficult to navigate. Also, I have some knee issues, so I can’t go down stairs that don’t have railings. There were several places in the very slippery spa that made it hard or impossible for me to get around. (One of them was walking across the rocks — not sad to have missed that, lol). I loved doing it at both resorts.

So, in the end, for me, it comes down to this:

Lobby/Entrance: Advantage ERC

Room: Advantage EPM

Pools: Advantage EPM

Beach: Advantage EPM

Grounds: Advantage EPM

Service: Advantage ERC

Restaurant decor: Advantage ERC

Food: Tie

Entertainment: Tie

Drinks: Tie

What I’ve learned is that I LOVE Excellence Resorts above the others. I think my next trip will be to Oyster Bay next April, and I’ll see if that continues my loyalty to the brand!