I saw this meme today… and I thought about “polite small talk.”  I’m all for this.  Every morning I babble with acquaintances about my day… about my life. I make friendly chitchat and am a moderately well adjusted individual who can generally function in society.  I understand the importance of maintaining this superficial communication to make sure the world is running smoothly.

There’s THAT and then there’s TALKING

I’ve always found the idea that we SHOULDN’T discuss religion or politics to be very odd.  After all, aren’t all the “teams” always trying to recruit new members?

Yeah, yeah… I get that it’s all personal and private and it’s no one’s business but your own.  But does it have to be?  I’ve often heard if you want to keep your friends never discuss politics and religion.

What I don’t understand is how differences of opinion can bring an end to friendships and relationships.

Your religion is an opinion.  I know you have faith.  Faith tells you it’s the one truth.  Faith says it’s fact…

but c’mon… you’re an educated person… it’s not a fact.  It’s just not.  You cannot conclusively prove that your religion is true… You just can’t.

I cannot prove that it ISN’T true, nor do I have any desire to do so.

You also cannot say that your beliefs on the economy, immigration, taxation, health care, etc. etc. are the ONLY alternative.  They are not.  They may be the only thing YOU see as being logical, but it is not FACT just because you deem it so.

It is dangerous to think it is.  In the words of Patrick Henry, “For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it..”

There was a fantastic article by Walter Lippmann in the Atlantic Monthly  in 1939 called “The Indispensible Opposition.” In short it said that we NEED to know the other side.  Yes, in some ways just as an attorney does so that he can find cracks and flaws, but it’s so much more than that.  We need to know WHY people think a certain way so that we can continually evaluate and adjust our own way of thinking.  If we don’t, our own position becomes continually weaker.

Social media SHOULD have been something that made this more attainable than it ever had been before.  I read opinions every day that I find so shocking to me I’m quite sure they’re satire.  I’m sure some people reading my words feel the same way about my opinions.  We have become more and more aware of the other opinions around us, and I’m scared about what seems to be happening as a result.

I’ve talked before about people who are comfortable only in their own echo chamber.  They look to discuss things with people who tell them they’re right… and are ever determined to be told that they are.  Often when someone tells them that they are not,  it escalates into completely unrelated personal attacks.  Again, it’s not being “right” that’s important… it’s about being “informed.”

Then, there’s the other side to that coin…  the idea of INTOLERANCE vs. DISAGREEMENT.. 

I cannot stress enough that these are two DIFFERENT things.  In this age of social media they get confused far too often.

I see these this statement or some variation ALL of the time.  I mainly see it stated by someone who is using the Bible and Christianity as the basis for their argument:

“Isn’t interesting how the people who say we need to be tolerant are the most INTOLERANT of people who disagree with them.”

Intolerant of what?

If I tell you that I do not agree with you,  that does NOT mean I’m intolerant of your views or your opinions.

You have every right to believe the way that you do.  You can express your opinion.  You can tell me how you feel.  You can tell me why.   You can give me the evidence that you think is strongest to support your opinion.  You can give me what you perceive to be fact and tell me why I’m wrong… and why I’m what’s wrong with America today and why the whole country is going to hell because I don’t have any morals.

I will reply to you that I don’t need a book to teach me morals.  I know what’s right and what’s wrong and how good people treat others.  I do not agree with your ideas about abortion, death penalty, LBGT, etc…

Never anywhere in my above thoughts did I say I don’t tolerate you.

I don’t AGREE with you.

I do tolerate you.

In fact, I NEED you.

I need to know what you think.  Your opposition is indispensible.  Do not consider me a “lost cause” and turn your head on me because I challenge your thoughts.  Defend your thoughts and take the time to LISTEN to mine as well.  Maybe I have a point.  Maybe I have some other thought you need to debunk.

Opinions are NOT what makes us who we are, friends.  The way we use what we believe to act in one way or another makes us who we are.

So let’s sit back, have a drink… and talk about why Bernie Sanders and Marco Rubio would make the best possible running mates as we make Buddhism the mandatory religion for the Sovereign Nation of Texas.

Who’s with me?