As i started to write this, I began to think, “This will most likely be my LEAST agreed with post yet…”

So here we are…  a week before Christmas… and I have received three Christmas cards in the mail…   They are sweet, nice Christmas cards sent by people who believe strongly in the idea of manners and tradition.

I remember 20 years ago when I got closer to 100 Christmas cards.  It was almost part of the rights of passage as an adult: You grow up.  You go to college.  You move out of the house.  You get an address book.  You send Christmas cards.

I remember being a kid, and some time in October we’d get all dressed up for Christmas .  Had to sit on a fireplace hearth.  Had to get my brother smiling… the dog facing forward… the cat not looking like he was trying to run away…  Hair curled appropriately, knees together…  all so that we looked like the perfect Norman Rockwell kids in the picture that was going to be sent to friends and family.  I remember Mom agonizing about the thought that she had to write a personal note to put in each card.

The next incarnation was the Christmas letters… Oh how I LOOOOOOOOOOVE Christmas letters.  C’mon… those things are funny!!!  Relatives whom you have met twice in your life send you single-spaced, three-page letters about “My year in bowels!”  or “Uncle Stan’s prostate!”

We should have seen it coming!   We should have read the writing on “the wall.”  This was our first step toward social media.  This was the idea that soon we were to get daily updates on Aunt Hattie’s vertigo.

….and I, for one, don’t mind at all.

I read an interesting take on “change” yesterday wherein a long-time acquaintance stated that liberals want change for change’s sake without caring about consequences.  Someone responded that conservatives avoid ALL change even when change is warranted because they live in a world of “that’s how it’s done.”   I think there’s some merit to both arguments… and with change, as with most things, I think the middle makes more sense.

The great thing about blogs is that I can ramble and take forever to get to my point… either you’re still with me, or not.  🙂

My point is that Christmas cards are a thing of the past, and that’s okay.

Once upon a time we lived very close with one another.  All of our relatives were just around the corner, and we celebrated and grieved together.  Then, manifest destiny… or the dust bowl…or whatever happened… and movement started.  Family threw up their hands in despair.  “How will we keep in touch?”  Thus Christmas cards.  People kept in touch.  Families stayed together…(although the older generation and the traditionalists continued to lament:  “They never should have moved at all.”)

But as time went on, there was less and less of hands being thrown in the air and wailing (less lamenting) as the family separated and moved.  It became part of culture… but the tradition of Christmas cards was held dear.  We still wanted to see the families of our loved ones… We still wanted to hear what was going on in life.  It’s still part of human nature to want to feel connection…

And next… came the intrawebs…  and Facebook and Instagram and YouTube and Skype…  and now you get to hear about Uncle Myron’s diverticulitis in REAL time. You feel like you’re practically besties with your cousin Savannah whom you’ve never actually even met.  Christmas cards?  I’ll do you one better…  “Here’s me shopping for Christmas.   Here’s me decorating my dog.  Here’s me cutting out a snowflake.”

What would be the point in a Christmas card?

And to me… that’s not a bad thing.  I am DEFINITELY more in touch now with my Chicago relatives than I EVER was when I got a Christmas card from them every year.  Now, I see their whereabouts pretty much every day.

Who says the OLD traditions are the ones we MUST hold onto to keep the family together?  I say just because it’s the way you did it before is NOT the way you NEED to do it now.

I’m also saying if you LIKE to do it… please do so!   If the choosing of the card is the part of your Christmas tradition that brings you joy, go on and do it…  I’m just saying that it’s not “so sad” that younger generations are moving away from the Christmas card and instead send you a lovely JibJab of you and your cat rockin’ around the Christmas tree.

It’s not “change for change’s sake.”  It’s because the times they ARE a changing… they always have been, and they always will be.

I’ve been threatening to write a book about this forever…  we’ll call this blog another kernel in my writer’s notebook.

I always preface any comments I make about parenting by clarifying that I have no children.  I understand that this is an IMPORTANT clarification.  Everything changes with perspective.  I cannot REALLY put myself in the head of another human being, so I simply don’t get it…

…but to me…  (and to Freud) there is perhaps no more interesting relationship than that between a mother and her son.

There are all different levels of the “son worshipper”  but all have pretty similar qualities.

I’m gonna start by throwing my own son worshipper mom under the bus…  🙂  Now, my brother is/was basically a good kid… no more rebellion than the average child, in fact, probably less…  BUT definitely boy.

So he tried cigarettes and alcohol at a young age… which my mom blamed on me….

He crawled out the window and jumped off the roof for fun…  for which my mom blamed me…

During my entire freshman year of high school I was grounded every night from the phone and from television during the week for bad grades.  I’m not exaggerating.  I was grounded the ENTIRE year Monday-Thursday 6PM until 6 AM…  In my room… no phone, no TV… Who knows what I did… I know it didn’t help my grades until I decided to do better (but that’s a different story.)

During my BROTHER’S freshman year…. he was in a high school musical.  He failed a class and couldn’t perform because of “no pass no play” regulations.  My mother’s response?:  She called the school.  She blamed the teacher for not keeping her informed that her son was failing.  Mom wanted to see what she could do to take it to the next level.  It was not fair that he failed.  Mom didn’t care that my brother hadn’t done any of his homework.  The teacher should have called.  She should have informed.

Ummmmmmm….  what????  To this DAY my mom still maintains that the teacher was in the wrong.

This was what started my interest with son worship… since then, I watched my mom continue to have similar reactions when my brother got himself into predicaments.  None of them were “serious,”  but somehow they were always someone ELSE’s fault (according to my mom 🙂  his wife had more sense than that. )

Now, as a teacher… it is the STRANGEST phenomenon.  More times than not moms will hang their girls out to dry.  They expect their daughters to handle their own issues (there are exceptions… but that’s what makes the rules, right???)

….but those precious baby boys…  OH.  MY.  GOODNESS!!!!

I can’t tell you how often I hand back a bad grade to a male student or refuse to accept a late paper and I am contacted by mom within the hour telling me how I should have handled the situation.

A few years ago I had a freshman boy who just was a handful.  He did almost NONE of his work.  I liked him a lot… but each time I’d put a zero in…  mom would call me within minutes.  There was always an excuse… always an explanation.  As the year went on she got more and more hostile with me.  She was sure I was out to get her son.  She took the whole situation very personally.  Eventually, her husband contacted me.  He told me that he was well aware of his son’s lack of effort.  He was calling me to see if there was a way that I could remove her from getting notifications about her son’s grades.  I told the dad that was something that may have to be handled in a family court situation… that I couldn’t keep information about a student from one parent in a divorce without a court order.  The dad responded, “Oh, we’re not divorced.  She just get’s crazy when it comes to Z–.  If you have a problem with him, you can let me know. I’ll handle it.”

I did as he requested.  I have since found out that Z is in college and doing just fine…

This past week a mom contacted me to talk to me about a book her son was supposed to get before Thanksgiving.  I had informed the class that I had copies they could borrow; they just needed to tell me.  As of this week, he still hadn’t told me he didn’t have a book.  His mom called me and begged for me to give him a second chance to take his quizzes because she didn’t know he didn’t have a book.  C’mon, Mom… he’s 17.  She proceeded to tell me that they usually read books together and discuss.  She wanted to know if I had a copy for her.  Again, he’s 17… and in an AP class.  We chatted for awhile.  I told her, as I told you, that I’m not a parent… but really, I have no reason to be having this conversation with her.  If her son wants to borrow a book, he’s going to have to talk to me… and he’s going to have to explain why he waited until we’re two weeks into it.  She really opened up to me and talked to me about the frustration she felt.  She talked to me about how she wanted him to be an independent man and to be successful in life.  I responded, (kindly), “I’m not sure that calling his junior AP English teacher and asking her to give him a break because he didn’t take care of his business is the best way to do that.”  She (kindly) agreed.

But it’s so interesting.  I get it, you know?  I see that boys are nothing more than big old puppies who are just a few years away from being the “head of household.”  They go away to college and they spend all their money on beer and figure that they don’t really NEED electricity…  When the lights go out, they’ll deal with it when they get around to it.  Late fees Schmate fees… that’s just another part of the bill….  And I get it that moms don’t WANT their boys to live their lives that way…

It’s such a weird dichotomy to me…  they are so hard on their boys and expect so much from them….  yet they lose their ever loving minds when they feel that someone has “wronged” them in some way… and mama lion comes out sooooooo much more with their baby boys than it does with their girls…

…maybe it’s because they are women themselves and expect their daughters to grow up to be strong and take care of themselves…

…but c’mon moms… you know your boys… your sweaty, smelly boys… who don’t do what you’ve asked them to until you’ve told them a million times and threatened them with bodily harm… who don’t butt heads with you but also don’t communicate with you at all.  They lie to you just to appease you… you have no idea what’s going on with them because they LIKE it that way…

Mama… your baby boy is playing you….  He is a wonderful, terrific, fantastic person.  His teacher who put a big fat F on his paper likes him plenty, too…

I know you want that mature, man of the house son….  Let him be that… let him fight his own battles…  let him fall down.

Let him be as tough as you let your daughter be…

I’m moving some of the “notes” that I liked from the past six years on Facebook to here…  This one was one of my more recent favorites:

So I was thinking about how our phones and our cars and our computers come with all sorts of information already loaded into them.  Machines know that there are all kinds of hard and fast rules that they just have to follow…

What I’m thinking is someone needs to create a chip that goes into the human brain…there are certain fundamental truths that would make life sooooooo much easier if our brains accepted them as fact and did not attempt to deviate from those rules.

We want other people to learn from our mistakes… but what if we could have something implanted so we never actually had to make those mistakes at all?  What if we just understood important fundamental things from birth… and didn’t have to be the 10 billionth person to learn the same thing?!?! And, since we KNOW it to be true… we don’t fight against it.  Wouldn’t that be great?

So, just a few of the things I think should be IMPLANTED in everyone:

• There are few things that cause more stress than prevarication and procrastination.  Avoid both.
• Your body is a machine.  It needs fuel and regular maintenance to work properly.  Overfilling will damage.  Toxic chemicals will damage.  Inactivity will damage.
• Everyone talks behind other people’s backs. It’s not personal and it doesn’t matter.  People need to talk about their problems.  You are talking behind other people’s backs… they’re talking behind yours.
• If you’re REALLY bothered by the above, look closely at yourself.  If it’s not true, stop being bothered.  It doesn’t matter.  If it IS true, and it bothers you… only you can fix it.
• Figure out who’s in charge and make sure that they like you.  Your life will be so much easier if people who have some control over your livelihood want to assist you.
• Very rarely are things “personal.”  If someone doesn’t ask you to dinner, “tag” you on facebook, tell you about an event… it’s not because they’re purposely trying to exclude you.  People are basically self centered… it wasn’t about you.  They just didn’t think about it.  Don’t stew about it.
• School really does build on itself.  Pay attention when you’re learning to find the lowest common denominator and how to write a complete sentence.  It will all matter later… and keep mattering forever.
• Do not ever give or lend money to friends.  No matter how you do it, no matter if you never expect to get it back or not, it changes the dynamic of the friendship forever… and it’s never good.
• Do not repeat mistakes.
• Do not buy something on credit without knowing exactly how/when you will be able to pay it back.  Have a plan.
• Don’t quit a job until you have another one.
• Anything you put in writing or on the Internet is there forever.  People who you don’t know will see it.  Your enemies will see it.  Your friends will see it.  It’s forever.

Those aren’t all inclusive… but I think those are the ones that should be included in the first app for things we all should know…

I’m sure you can think of things that should be included on the next updates.  🙂

Well, maybe that’s a little sensationalist… but I don’t know that they’re not.

I have trouble understanding the idea that people who “believe in” life outside of our solar system are “kooks.” The idea that you have to be crazy to have seen a UFO or to believe that there’s something else out there…

Now, I WILL give you that historically the people who have stood up and claimed alien abduction have not been the type of people to whom we would give our trust.  It’s sort of like the problem encountered by people who believe in the legalization of marijuana…  “Yes, yes, dirty hippie… everything you’re saying is correct, but would you please stop acting like a lunatic so that we can make the middle American and Bible belt masses understand the truth?  You’re only hurting your own cause.”  (but that’s another blog for another day.)

I simply don’t understand people who say…  “Yup, I understand the universe is infinite and expanding.  I understand that there are infinite suns and infinite solar systems…  but we are the ONLY intelligent life… Just us… on this little planet.  There is no one else… And if there WERE other civilizations, they’re too far away to get here.  I know that because we haven’t gotten to them.”

Um, huh???

Just like we KNEW that the earth was flat?  That the sun revolved around us… just like we KNEW those things, too?

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous…  I’ve never believed any of those things!   I only know that we are the only intelligent life.”

What happens to people that they hear something and decide THAT is the truth?  Is that just another kind of faith (yes, another blog for another day…. )

Is it fear?  “I don’t understand things and people that aren’t like me, so I don’t believe that they exist.”

I don’t know if there is something else out there, but it seems to me like logically it would only make sense that there is.  That is A LOT of space..  I find it even MORE inconceivable that we are the only species to civilize and populate…

So how did the idea that there is no extra terrestrial life start?

Was it because the kooks were the first ones to stand up and say “YES!!  I have been probed!”  That someone decided if the kooks say it’s true it never happened and never will happen to anyone ever?

Or is it not fear… but arrogance.

Is it the thought that we truly ARE the center of the universe?  Do we believe in our own advancements and our intelligence so much that we believe that no one else could ever do it better.  (Is it like Americans who put patriotic blinders on as other countries surpass us on every front and just say ” ‘merica is the best at everything” and refuse to see the need for change?. but that’s a different blog for a different day)

We all know my mantra.. I haven’t made up my mind about ANYTHING.  New evidence leads to new beliefs all of the time.  But for now I do believe that it’s possible that some day ET will show up in my backyard, demand Reese’s Pieces and ask to use my phone.

Usually I do that month of November list of things for which I’m thankful.  It’s never been a problem for me to come up with MORE than enough.  The same would be true this year.  I lead an OBNOXIOUSLY good life… The kind of life that makes people grumble and groan about Facebook bragging and things of that ilk… but it’s true.  My life is silly good.  I have everything I need and most everything I want.

But today I’m thinking about one of the things for which I’m MOST thankful… and that is the fact that I am a logic driven person.

I don’t think this has always been true.  I mean is there really a teenage girl whose life is primarily controlled by logic?  But even now, looking back, I really remember the times that I was flying off the handle, that I was having a tantrum, or breaking down into absolute sobbing fits… and I remember thinking even THEN “What are you doing???”

It seems that often people assert that being emotion driven as opposed to logic driven has to do with being female.

I’ve never been good at the “girl” games.  I don’t understand the rules or how to play.  Fortunately for me, I have found very close friends who ALSO don’t get it.  We know that we talk behind one another’s back… but it’s not about being catty or evil… it’s because we’re people.  We don’t pretend to be things we’re not.  We don’t try to “one up” one another.  We don’t get worked up because we don’t get invited to a party.  We are not looking at each other’s purses or shoes or nails or hair or husbands and comparing…

Not running to social media to vent or brag or REACT…  I think my friends are largely logic driven, too.  They understand that people are out there living their own lives… and they can step back and look at the situation and THINK and not just react.  I’m thankful I’m one of those people.

…and then I realize that there A LOT of people out there who are driven by their emotions.  Something happens and they just react.   I actually get that part (somewhat).  I’m a crier… Pretty much every day.  Sometimes it’s happy, sometimes it’s frustration, sometimes it’s worry…  but walking around with a lump in my throat and tears streaming is pretty much my MO.  Sounds like I’m more emotional than logical, right?  But the thing is that is just the physical reaction to my emotions.  I recognize what I’m doing and why I’m doing it.  I can’t really control it, but I understand why I’m doing it… and it doesn’t affect anyone else. It doesn’t cause me to react.

I just have known my entire life that I must wear waterproof mascara every day!   🙂

But when someone has a disagreement with me, I GENUINELY want to know their side of the argument.  I really want to know what they think… and often when I ask they seem challenged or put off that I’m asking them to defend their side… that I want to know “why.”  Richard and I laugh about this quite a bit.  One of my favorite lines that he uses in disagreements with me is “how do you expect me to fight with you if you’re going to be logical?”

I always laugh and think, “Well how else do you fight?”

Generally, if he sees my side and realizes that I have a point, his parting shot is “you’re wrong.”  That’s code between us for he sees what I’m saying, and he has no comeback…  I’m okay with that.  I understand that’s what he’s saying.. and I can deal with that.

So I’m really thankful for that.  I am thankful that my emotions don’t run my life.  How EXHAUSTING would that be to go through every day thinking that everything is personal.??.. that if someone disagrees with you that it has something to do with YOU as opposed to your belief??

I know people who don’t talk to family members for decades and they don’t even care about the fight that started it all anymore.  How is it logical to not make amends if there is part of you that wants to do that?

I think that lack of logic sometimes comes from taking things personally.  It would be so nice if the whole world could understand that most people are far too self centered to take the time to do something to injure or go against YOU.  People are just thinking about them… the chances that a grown adult means to do something personally to YOU is very unlikely…

…and if they do, so what?  Why does it matter so much?

But maybe the people who are driven by their emotions are thankful, too.  Maybe people are glad that they feel so strongly about things that they let those feelings rule their reactions.

I just laughed out loud because I really had the thought that someone may read this blog and think, “If she has a problem with me, why doesn’t she tell me?  What ? she thinks she’s being all sneaky but I KNOW this is about me.”

Person reading this blog: I SWEAR it’s not,  I’m not thinking about ANYONE in particular… or even about a few anyones in particular.  I’m thinking about the angst and upset I see in the world at large;.  So many people getting outraged and upset about minutia..  (or what I consider minutia.  It may be VERY important to you.)

…and I’m just thankful that’s not me.  🙂

Gotta start by saying that last year one of my favorite cynical students…  he shall who not be named.. was asked to write an inspirational poem… one that could be read at Baccalaureate.  He wrote a haiku which his English IV teacher shared with  me… .What’s below is not a quote… merely a paraphrase… but it captures the spirit of his poem

We are East View High
We are just like ev’ry school
Nothing special here

At the time I laughed.  Such a typical comment from an atypical student.  I still laugh… ’cause it’s so him!!

But it’s so NOT East View.

I think maybe when you’re in it… you don’t see the difference.  You think it’s like every place else, but it’s not.

The fact that our kids were staying after a playoff game to clean up trash last night because they wanted to be sure that they didn’t mess up someone else’s stadium… that is NOT typical.

The fact that we rarely have more than one fight at school in a year’s time… that is NOT typical.

The fact that 98% of our students graduate even when half of them are at or below the poverty level… that is NOT typical.

The fact that community members feel moved to write our football coach to mention running into our players in public and how courteous and respectful they are.  that is not typical.

They are the most giving, wonderful, diverse group of young people I’ve ever met.  Each time I challenge them a little bit more with being MORE empathetic, MORE kind… they jump at the challenge..

We’re still a school.  They’re still teenagers.  They will still do and say astronomically stupid things… but they are NOT typical…  It really is an extraordinary place.

When my central office visitor left this week, he said as much…  “What you’re doing here.  This is impressive.”

Now, on ANOTHER note… herding cats is also impressive  (Bear with me here…  this is a complete change of topic, but that was as close as I could get to a segue.)

I teach three upper level AP classes.  The other three classes I teach are…. um…. not…

Three AP English language and composition, one credit recovery class (ALL subjects) and two STAAR repeaters class.

Ah, those kids!!!  Too funny!!!  And that’s my herding cats!!!

I can get my AP kids to hang on to just about every word I say.  Every day they tell me how fast the 90 minutes in my room FLIES by… that they’d be glad to stay for longer.  I swear I could teach them for six hours straight and they’d still  be into it…

STAAR repeaters…  Wow!!!

The test is two weeks away…  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK… and if I can get them to participate with me for an hour that’s a really good day.  It is the strangest experience… I try to be slow to start with them.  (with AP I walk into the room rolling…)  STAAR… you have to kind of finesse them into it… Make like it’s their idea to work.  “Hey, how was your weekend?”

“Really?  I haven’t been there yet.  Tell me about it.”

Oh and they LIE…  They tell stories that aren’t even CLOSE to true… and I listen in appropriate amazement… and I deal with their drama stories… and then I sneak in some ed you ma ka shun…  Then we take a break… and we talk about hair… and race… and money… and cars… and religion… and horror movies… and eternity…

…and then I sneak in a little more learnin’

But always… when there are about 15 minutes left in class, I’m done… I have lost them completely…. and I KNOW that if I tried to teach one more thing I’d be met with nothing but resistance.  They would put their heels in the sand and couldn’t push or pull them for anything in the world… so we talk again…and I tell them about my life… and my decisions… and how I got to where I am…

…and I hope that’s good enough.  I hope that the life lessons they’re learning may be worth it… that all of that time is not “wasted” but differently used.  I’m not sure how some administrator or an evaluator would feel if they walked in the room and all we’re doing is going through some of my old photo albums and talking about apps… but sometimes that’s all I can do with the frisky little kittens, and I actually know that’s okay.

Yay!!   The weather outside is SPECTACULAR!   Highs not even reaching 60!  It’s making me want to drink hot chocolate, shop for Christmas presents (not that the weather really matters on Amazon Prime, I don’t guess), and start putting up Christmas decorations…

’tis also the season for the memes.  “I’m saying ‘Merry Christmas’ not ‘Happy Holidays. Like if you Agree'”  and “Let’s put the CHRIST back in CHRISTmas”… and “President Obama put a ‘Holiday Tree’ up in the White House.  Sign here if you think he should be impeached!” O Christmas Tree

Did you know that here in Texas we have a law protecting people’s right to say “Merry Christmas” in public schools.  That’s right!   No longer can students be put in the dungeon if they accidentally say “Merry Christmas” to someone.  God bless ‘merica!!!http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/06/14/perry-signs-merry-christmas-bill-into-law/

The bill was actually started because a state legislator got upset when his son came home and talked about the “holiday tree” that they were decorating for class.  Turns out the godless, liberal, heathen educators were not respecting the Christmas tree in all its glory.

I’ve been in education more than 20 years and on the Internet for just about that long.  I’m trying to find any instance of a school district employee or student getting in trouble for saying “Merry Christmas.”

And I suppose the Christmas Tree is such a sacred symbol because Mary and Joseph decorated one in the barn the night Jesus was born?  Let’s ignore the fact that its roots (pun intended) lie in pagan traditions.

In my English class this is what we call a Straw Man argument.  This is a logical fallacy wherein someone argues against a position that doesn’t even actually exist… It’s creating outrage for the sake of being outraged.

Okay… I admit it.  My main reason for celebrating Christmas is not to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  (Let’s not even argue the fact that scholars debate the actual date of Jesus’ birth all the time and that some say it was spring, some say summer, some say November… but December 25 was actually a pagan celebration.)  Christmas for me is all about family and spreading joy and cheer and butter!!    Doe s that mean, however, that I have taken the CHRIST out of Christmas?

To me that sounds like keeping the Christ IN Christmas…  being kind to my fellow man… loving one another… celebrating life.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?

As for the “happy holidays” debate… Ummmmm… look at the word!!  It MEANS “holy day.”  Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be celebrating!!!

So relax!   Enjoy your eggnog!   Hang the lights… play the music… celebrate!!!  There is no “War on Christmas!!!!!!!”

Way to go!  You have won your imaginary battle!   Enjoy the season!

So, like my little subheadline thingy says… I thought I needed to do a public service to Facebook by taking my spew off of there all the time.  Now, at least, you decide if you want to do that one more click and read what I have to say… or keep on scrolling.  (Generally I think cat videos, buzzfeed, and “how rock star are you” quizzes are much more entertaining than what I have to say anyway!)

So…  I’ve been thinking this morning about how awful it is to be a teenager.  I mean really, truly awful…

We say things to them like, “How bad can it be?  The only thing you have to worry about is yourself.  Just wait until you’re grown up and you have so many other concerns.”

Don’t let them lie to you, kiddo…  Yes, there are plenty of pressures to being an adult, but anyone who says that to you forgot about the pressures of being a teenager.  I assure you.

You’re stuck in this weird netherworld as a teenager.  You have enough self awareness to realize you’re overreacting, being ridiculous, crying over nothing and all of that, but there is NOTHING you can do about it.  You haven’t yet learned to control your emotions and slough things off.  You are literally incapable of doing so.  That frontal lobe of yours is not fully developed yet; and even though you’ve read the science books and KNOW that it’s true, it doesn’t fix how you feel right a that moment.

You haven’t lived long enough yet to truly believe and KNOW that all things are temporary.  The emotions you’re feeling, no matter how poignant, will ease.  You will be able to get through each obstacle and each hardship.  You really CAN survive what is happening to you, but you haven’t gone through the hard stuff enough times to know that this too shall pass.

People inherently distrust you… and why shouldn’t they? You lie… like, A LOT… You lie when the truth could save you because you’re still trying so hard to figure out who you are.  You want to please everyone, and you want to please yourself, too!  Sometimes it’s not so much a lie as it is a spin on reality…  and sometimes when you’re telling the truth, you’re accused of lying.

The thing is you have all this responsibility and no freedoms.  People are checking on you CONSTANTLY… They’re telling you it’s time to grow up… to take care of your business, but they’re checking on every little stinking thing you do… You have to have a piece of paper with you to go to the BATHROOM for goodness sake!   If you’re an adult and you forgot something in your car that you NEED for the day, you run outside to get it.  If you’re a child, you’re chastised for forgetting it and told you must deal with the consequences because if you ran out to your car bad things could happen…adults don’t know what you have in  your car or what you’re going to do if you’re out of their sight!

And you can’t even really blame them… because the truth be told, you often do something other than what you said you were going to do.  You’re a kid… and you’re curious, and you’re playful.  So when you went in the supply closet to get something really quick for a teacher… and you noticed that there was a LADDER leading UP to somewhere, well, you HAD to climb the ladder.  You had to see where it went… and when you realized you could get on the ROOF with that ladder…  well maybe you HAD to text a few people that you could do that.  And maybe your friends lied and said they had to go to the bathroom, too… and maybe you were ALL on the roof for awhile….  and maybe when you went back to class you lied about where you were…

And adults constantly telling you they’ve “been there… they’ve done that…”  It doesn’t even matter if it’s true.  What the adults forget is that it is nearly impossible to learn from the experiences of others… and it’s even MORE impossible when you’re a teen.  You have not developed the true sympathies and empathies that you will develop later in life.  You understand that it’s IMPORTANT to care about others… and you understand pathos and all that good stuff, in theory… but in reality, you’re so self centered you can’t see past the end of your own nose most days.  Everything in life is all about “How does this affect ME!”  And you KNOW you’re not supposed to feel that way.  You know you’re supposed to put yourself in other people’s shoes…and skin… and whatever…  but your hormones are raging… your mind isn’t fully developed and people expect SOOOOOOOOO much of you all the time!!!

This is not patronizing, This is not a joke.  This is just my way of saying that I do remember.  I do understand.  I don’t blame you, kiddo.  You’re an almost adult who is trying to figure it out day after day… and people who tell you that it isn’t hard have forgotten just how hard it is.  The beauty is that some day it will all just be a memory for you, too.  Hang in there, kiddo…  If you think being a teenager is hard, you’re right.  Most people wouldn’t go back for all the money in the world.